Culturazi

For most of my life I have been totally self-obsessed and I think this blog is an enabling factor in this behaviour.  It’s all me, mine, my, I.  At least I’ve tried to steer clear of ‘one’, which I just can’t manage without dissolving into a parody of someone more formal than I.  Me.  (Pretentious?  Moi?)

So I believe that I will call it a day at #150.  I just can’t keep it going anymore.  Week in.  Week out.  The same old treadmill.   The same old bullshit; my tiny, boring life dissected for every ounce of entertainment value.  I mean, it’s kind of depressing when you think about it, isn’t it?

Maybe I could sum it all up for you in one steam of consciousness.  It would go something like this:

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Tags: Gertrude // 2 Comments »

Postmark 16th July, 1970

James Street
Berridale

(Wed) 15-7-70

My Dearest Jock,

I was very pleased to receive your letter to-day, & hear that you were out of the jungle & had had a shower & a good meal. I guess by now you are back in Nui Dat.

I also received a letter from Mum to-day & a lottery ticket which they bought for you for your birthday, they called it “Happy Returns Jock”, but it was not quite lucky enough, it was $18 of $20. They are leaving for Dubbo on Fri morning 31st July, the day before the wedding, & she asked what day I would be down there. Well I guess I’ll go down on Wed 29th. I don’t know whether I should take the car down without getting the bearing in the wheel fixed as Wally said it would be alright to drive with it around here, but he wouldn’t advise going on a long trip. To-day in Cooma I enquired about the price of train fairs & it would cost the boys & I $3.74 to go to Queanbeyan by train, which would probably be cheaper than getting the car fixed. And it will cost us $26.66 to come home from Dubbo to Cooma by train, which is cheaper than I expected really. Mum & Dad suggested that we go with them on their trip in the Caravan, they are going for about a fortnight out west to Bourke & along the Darling River. But I won’t be going with them as I can imagine what it would be like travelling around with the boys.

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Gertrude
c/- Culturazi.com

Mr Ron Radford, AM
Director
National Gallery of Australia
GPO Box 1150
Canberra ACT 2601
AUSTRALIA

Dear Mr Radford,

I am writing to thank you for hosting Masterpieces From Paris.  That such a marvellous exhibition should make it’s way here is an event to be celebrated.

Entering the presence of those paintings was an unforgettable experience.  The variety of tone and texture.  The clarity of colour.  The details leapt out with such great veracity, as though I could reach out and hold them; which I could in fact do, because I’m actually talking about the backs of people’s heads and shoulders which is pretty much all I saw.

May I humbly suggest that you hold a special event viewing for people 165 cm or less?  I think that is the only way to alleviate the discrimination against the small of stature, as pointy stilleto heels or stilts are not the sort of footwear that should be encouraged in crowded galleries, lined as they tend to be with hard flooring and dazzled art lovers.

I trust that the Gallery will give this matter the consideration it deserves.

Yours faithfully
etc

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Postmark 14th July, 1970

James Street
Berridale
N.S.W. 2628

(Mon) 13-7-70

My Dearest Jock,

I received two letters from you to-day, & it was just great to hear from you again. I love you & am missing you terribly Darling. Oh, how I wish you were home here with me. My life is just so empty & meaningless without you, & how I look forward to the day when we are to-gether again.

I called in at Barbara’s this morning & she said that a letter had come from you fo Sandy, & I was anxious to get home & see if there was one there for me & was very happy to find not only one but two. I am going into Cooma on Wednesday, as I have to get some more of my nerve tablets, & Barbara is going to mind Brian for me, which will be a great help as the twins on their own are quite well behaved, & Brian on his own is well behaved too but put the three of them together & they are just uncontrollable.

I bet you are all looking forward to getting back to camp for about 10 days break, & especially to going on R&C.

Well I must finish up for now Darling hoping this finds you well & not too wet & cold & tired. May God Bless & Protect you,

Yours Always

Sandra xxxxxxxxx

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Hullo,

Recently the heat saw me taking it easy, but only after I have exercised my dog twice daily. It is a bit of a chore. She is, as you would expect, unruly and demanding like her owner. She is also open to spontaneous flashbacks that result in her attacking things (people usually) as well as anything motorized such as motor bikes, vacuum cleaners, things that usually have wheels or two to four legged animals also.

The other day I was kicking back in my lounge room on the first floor of my apartment after a taxing stroll up a small mountainside. The lounge room window, large with a wide view, was open, the dog peacefully sleeping on the floor by my side, when the tranquility of the scene was broken by the staccato spurt of the posties’ bike.

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I went to lunch on the weekend to celebrate my father’s 87th birthday.  It was the usual fun-filled family affair, and I thought regular readers might enjoy a little insight into how these events usually go, taken from the perspective of my step-mother.

1.  Should you be invited to attend a social occasion to be hosted at one of your step-children’s homes, plead illness.  If you are particularly desperate to avoid their company, you may need to resort to extreme tactics such as crashing your golf cart.   Whatever your excuse, be sure to milk it for all it’s worth.  Calling your husband frequently during the event will make sure that your absence is emphasised.  Be as pathetic as possible; pleas for instructions on how to operate the television or the microwave oven can be effective reminders of how inconvenient is your husband’s absence.

2.  Should the event be held in a restaurant, you can employ the following strategies.

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Postmark 9th July, 1970

James Street
Berridale

(Fri) 10-7-70

My Dearest Jock,

How are you my Darling? I hope that you are well, & feeling much better than I do.I haven’t felt the best to-day & I have been feeling so cranky with myself for being sick. It just seems so long since I have felt completely well & fit. I decided to-day that I just going to say blow the work & only do the bear necessities, when & if I feel up to it & I’m going to get as much rest as possible. To-day I went to bed when the boys went, & lately I have not had much of an appetite but I have been forcing myself to eat & especially plenty of good food such as fruit & vegetables & eggs & things & I just had an egg flip which I intend to have everyday. So I hope to be able to build myself up and maybe I will have a bit more energy & not feel so tired & weak all the time. Sometimes I feel as though I would like to go to bed & stay there or better still I would love to go to hospital for about 6 months, well maybe not for that long, but just the thought of it sounds very relaxing.

I hope that the ink cartridge for your pen, that I sent the other day didn’t burst on it’s way over, in the letter. But it seemed such a small thing to make up a parcel for. If it did, then let me know & I will send another one & make a parcel out of it this time. I love you & miss you very much my Darling & it will be so wonderful to have you home again, & I hope that day isn’t very far off. Brian told me to-day that when you come home he is going to give you a big hug & a kiss, and you can be sure that there will be plenty of hugs & kisses in store for you from all of us, when you come home.

I’m pleased that the days are going a bit quicker for you now since you have had your promotion, but I guess you must get very tired too, with the extra work & worry. When you come home you can join me in my health building diet & rest.

Well speaking of rest I guess I had better hit the sack or I will never wake up in the morning. Lately I have been getting the boys to come & get into bed with me of a morning to wake me up. John & Mike take it in turns, it s John’s turn in the morning. For I sleep so heavily lately that I just can’t wake up of a morning.

Bye for now my love, hoping this finds you well & not too lonely.

Your everloving wife,

Sandra

xxxxxxxx

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Hullo,

Progressions. When in hindsight one looks back and documents events, especially day to day events, you can get an idea of how things are going.

Since chrissy of two thousand and four not much has been happening amongst my world of aquaintances. On the whole the group has lost a few comrades as well as relatives. This is the way of it though.

Through my own writings, which have been big whinges on occasions, I can claim to have been instrumental in changes. For an example I criticized the National drink and drive initiative and my observations have been listened to. It now is the ‘drink or drive’ campaign which does give drivers and drinkers a choice as opposed to an order. If you would argue with me, you only have to wonder why it was changed.

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Jim Conway’s Big Wheel (Folkus, Friday 11 December 2009)
by Zeke

Three big wheels

The Karismakatz, DJ Gosper and Christo Carlsen, opened the evening with a set showcasing not only their musical skills but also the depth of their songwriting.

In late 2009 DJ was named Best Female Vocalist of the Year by the Canberra Blues Society, her song Baby Rose was named Best Song, and their recent CD, Hot Flush Blues was named Best Album.

DJ was immediately on form, and her harmonica solo in Go With The Flow was a wonderful, soaring introduction to an excellent performance. Other song highlights included Baby Rose, with the haunting guitar melody supplemented by guest Dave O’Neill’s violin part.

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Paverty 35th Anniversary Reunion Concert, Folkus Room 30 October

Thinking about the year 1974. It seems so long ago and so far away from the vantage point of 2009 (ahem… ‘10 - Ed.). Remember 1974? It was the year of Cyclone Tracy, Watergate, Abba’s Eurovision win AND the birth of Franklyn B Paverty, Australia’s bush band of renown.

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Postmark 9th July, 1970

James Street
Berridale
N.S.W. 2628

(Wed) 8-7-70

My Darling jock,

I received your letter to-day & it was wonderful to hear from you again, after 11 days of disappointment, as I watched the mail go past without stopping.

I hope that by the time you receive this you will be back in camp out of the mud & wet. I’m sure you must be really fed up with being out in the jungle for so long. The boys were very happy & excited to recieve a letter all of their own each from you. Michael has been reading his off by heart to himself & John &  Brian keep coming to me to get me to read theirs to them.

Well I got the big job of cleaning the stove done to-day, I expected that it would take all morning, but it took all day. I got the stove cleaned & washed by about 1:30, but after lunch I was washing up & washing the Canisters & the tops of the cupboards until about 5PM. For you know what a mess the soot makes everywhere. Boy was I pleased to have a shower after I had finished. The stove is going well now, & not smoking, thank God. I got up in the ceiling & banged the flu & a lot of the soot fell down, but when I tried to take the plate off the flu inside here (just above the stove) the nuts or bolts or what you call them wouldn’t undo, as they seem to have rusted, but I tried very hard to undo them, in fact too hard, as one of them snapped right off. I’ve still got a lot more cleaning up to do after it. I haven’t dusted on top of the fridge or down the other end of the room, & I have to wash the floor, yet, but at least I’ve got the worst part of it over.

I have got a date with Jeanette on the phone up at your mother’s place tomorrow at 2.30PM. As she can ring Berridale direct from over there, but from here it is a trunk call. So we are going to have a bit of a chin wag to-morrow, & knowing how long Jeanette can talk when she gets on the phone it could be quite a long chat too. I have known her to talk for about 1 & 1/2 hours or more on the phone.

I will close for now my Dearest, you are always in my thoughts & prayers my Darling, and I will be loving you forever.

Yours Always,

Sandra            xxxxxx

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