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We know that the sophisticated, worldly and urbane readers of this journal will find this old hat, but yesterday we were talking to a man in his fifties, a man not unaware of the ways of the world, who had no idea of this phenomenon.

We were reminded of a sad story we once heard about a man whose fiance ejaculated on his face during cunnilingus. He was so disgusted by her ‘pissing in his mouth’ that he never slept with her again.

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Gertrude’s Recipe

Gertrude's Diary

Our local ABC radio station has recently been advertising for contributions to a new book project called ‘home-cooked’. In a spirit of cooperation with our national broadcaster I offer this recipe, acquired through years of observing the dietary habits of certain blokes.


1. Go to the pub.

2. Drink between 4 and 18 pints of beer, depending upon your body weight and tolerance for alcohol. IMPORTANT: stop drinking before you pass out. [Read more →]

A Tale of Two Fires

As the ACT Fire Enquiry stumbles on, I decided it might be time to drag out my own reminiscences of the fires in Canberra back in 2003.

I actually had to deal with two fires. First the one (or ones) that tore through south west Canberra on January 18 and then the fires which threatened my mother’s property in the northern Brindabella’s nearly two weeks afterwards.

The first fire was a communal experience, through our shared memories, the benefit concerts and the media. Community leaders expressed sorrow and the community chipped in for the uninsured.

The second fire, affecting only us and the few other isolated houses on our road, was shared just by my mother and me and a few anonymous firemen. It has never been very satisfying trying to relate this story verbally. I can’t put it in words very well that way, so I guess this is partly an attempt to do a bit better, to get that sense of catharsis when you feel somebody understands what you went through. [Read more →]

A Look At Gertrude’s Bookshelf

Gertrude's Diary

Happy As A Dead Cat, by Jill Miller.

Don”t go rushing out looking for a copy of this little 120pp romp. It was published in 1983, and I got my copy from that second-hand bookshop at Lyneham in 1998. You can find out a bit about the author by going here. [Read more →]