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Gertrude’s Diary #4 – Computer Dick?

Gertrude's Diary

‘Here’s the text. The fucking thing isn’t working properly. This is my 6th attempt to send. I’m not attaching ’cause I figure this might be easier for the stupid thing to do. I’m gonna punch it if it doesn’t work this time.’

Last Saturday I went to the Computer Fair with a clever friend and a pocketful of cash. These occasions are never as fair-like as one imagines; never any ruddy-cheeked, keg-swilling monks, nary a harlequin jester to cheer things up. Just a stack of people (some of them straight from a 5 day shift at the keyboard, if their odour and wan complexion was anything to go by) shuffling from table to table, trying to penetrate the mysteries of” well, I”m not sure. [Read more →]


Recorded on Tuesday 22nd March, 2005, Insatiable Banalities, podcast #3 features the usual cast: Jim Boots, Johnboy, Captain Pants and Gertrude are all in their usual form. This week they have a special guest in the studio as the Insatiable Banalities crew wanted to say goodbye to Jason Maynard, singer songwriter and front man for local band, Griffin, who is off to warmer climes. [Read more →]

Limestone Lizzie?

Heading up Limestone Avenue the other day, I was hailed down by a damsel in distress who jumped into the car before I could blink and, without any preamble, offered me a blow job for $10. I asked her if she was Limestone Lizzie. ‘Nah, that’s R___’ she replied.

I was referring to the well known prostitute from ages ago who apparently trawled the boundary between Ainslie and Reid and who, somewhat mythically, has been known to reappear over the years.

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Track list:

Fred Smith, Lucky Blue Guitar – 1.23

Mikelangelo, A Formidable Marinade – 15.04

The Henchmen, Change the World #2 – 28.50

Trouser Trouser, Whenever Possible pt 2 – 33.23

The Tullys, Outside Looking In, 54.00

City Girl’s Diary #2

Sorry for not writing for so long. Since my last entry I’ve been so busy. Loadedog have had me on a really punishing schedule. Even though it was them who chose me, they seem to think I need a lot of work to be up to their standard, you know, like grooming and deportment and stuff.

Last time I wrote, you will remember that I asked if anyone knew of a place in Canberra that did endermologie and cosmecanique (I love French sounding things, don’t you?), and someone kindly wrote back to tell me about La Bella Vita. I’ve been in there almost every day since, and the results have been amazing, as you will see in the photos below.

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Campbell High Opens Helipad

Being confirmed republicans, with the requisite amount of disdain for things royal, we had no idea of the schedule of HRH Prince Charles on his odd excursion to Australia. The roar of helicopters coming from up the road caught us, therefore, by surprise.

We’ve read a bit of the commentary about his travels (and his travails) however, and get the idea that Charles has lost the faith of all but die-hard fans. While this is a welcome development, in a strange twist it seems an Australian girl has married a prince of Denmark (how romantic… how Shakespearean) and, in an extraordinary case of emotional transference, the whole country has fallen in love with her (gag) at the expense of our own ridiculous royals.

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Insatiable Banalities #1

Loadedog has teamed up with RiotACT and our good friend Captain Pants and produced a podcast, which is like a poor man’s version of radio.

The show consists of some local music tracks and some (some have said too much) silly banter from the three of us. Listening back to it ourselves has been good exercise for the cringeceps, those important, but often neglected, muscles. [Read more →]