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Gertrude’s Diary #14

Gertrude's Diary

An article in my financial institution”s newsletter on vehicle safety. They could have dispensed with 250 words of fluff,used really big type, and just written “don”t drive like a dickhead.”

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Recorded on Tuesday 15th November, number 30 has the whole crew of four together but no special guests. We play a few more tracks of the Caught in the Act CD and talk a lot of crap. A conversation about a horny giraffe with no sexual partner gets a bit out of hand, and Jim Boots slanders some major news networks, but otherwise it’s a pretty tame affair.

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Chiffon #1

Articles by Chiffon

Earlier this year I got involved in a sticky situation. I won”t go into the details here, but if I tell you it involved a banana, a ute-load of horse manure and an escaped donkey, you will get something of the picture. The upshot was that I ended up in the debt of a very odd middle-aged woman by the name of Chiffon who I have never met, we having exchanged all correspondences by mail (she refuses to acknowledge the existence of the computer).

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So Many Questions, So Few Answers

Why, when you’re leaving a party, do men sometimes feel compelled to run into the headlight’s glare and expose their buttocks? And why, when someone exposes their buttocks in the glare of your headlights, do you feel compelled to take a photograph or two?

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Reasons to be Cheerful About Being a Cyclist

Our good pals at RiotACT have run a couple of threads lately (Bloody On-road Cyclists, 80 percent of cyclists dangerous lawbreakers) about the scourge of cyclists riding rampant through the city streets. Cyclists apparently provoke the ire of a goodly few of Canberra”s residents, what with all their riding on the road and expecting to be avoided by cars and so on, not to mention failing to wear helmets, not having lights, running red lights, not paying any road taxes, not having a proper job and probably being terrorist sympathisers.

I”ve been tempted to leap to the cyclists” defence numerous times, but have held back, partly because I am a cyclist myself and am guilty of many of the above crimes” all of them in fact (and more – drink-riding, riding under the influence of celestial bodies…), except for expecting cars to avoid me on the road. A cyclist is a damn fool if they expect a car to not deliberately mow them down, let alone see them and give them their legally entitled right of way.

But here, away from the artless chattering of the RiotACT classes, I feel free to extemporise a little on the subject which has, as one RA commenter said, been done to death, but never by me, with my convoluted logic, nor in quite my impeccably self-righteous tone.

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INSATIABLE BANALITIES #29. Australian Kingswood Factory

Recorded on Sunday 6th November, number 29 features Lyndsay, Grumbles and Super Ray of Australian Kingswood Factory. Carrie Dennes also joins us, making up for Johnboy and Kandy A’s absenteeism.

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Recorded on Sunday 30th October, 2005 (continuity freaks amongst you please refrain from pointing out any inconsistencies), Insatiable Banalities #28’s special guest is Jol Duval, the svengali behind Caught in the ACT, a Canberra band compilation/promotional album.

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INSATIABLE BANALITIES #27. Young and Restless

Recorded on Tuesday 1st November, 2005, Insatiable Banalities #27’s special guests are Karina Utomo and Ashley Pegram from Young and Restless and Leo (a.k.a. The Thin Red Lion) wanders in about halfway through. We can’t convince them to play any music live, so we play the five songs off their demo CD.

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Recorded on Tuesday 18th October, 2005, Insatiable Banalities #26’s special guests are The Guests. We get them to play a few songs (and clap along at one stage), embarrass them by trawling for details of their love lives and make fun of their shoes. All songs except Broken Track are recorded live.

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