Entries Tagged as ''

Loadedog’s New Year Message

The year draweth to its end. Hooray! There’s little to be cheery about however. Doom and gloom looming on so many fronts can get one down, even though here in leafy suburban Canberra the harsher of life’s realities are kept safely at bay.

We’ve even had a nice little bit of rain lately, belying the fact that we are in the grip of a seemingly endless drought that will soon have us drinking our own pee. Though not if the people of Townsville are any guide to the fortunes of this, on first examination, rather sensible idea – someone should have told them that all water is recycled and has traveled through the bellies of countless creatures since time immemorial, but anyway. Fortunately there is a better way, but unfortunately the powers that be won’t have any truck with men pissing sitting down. It’s just not manly.

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Security Breach at Parliament House

In these days of fear and loathing, with the war on terror proceeding apace, one expects the security of the Nation’s Parliament to be of the highest standard. Some may recall the 2002 review of security which identified various security lapses around Parliament House and recommended various action including excluding cars from the forecourt with massive bollards. Also recommended, and presumably implemented, was the introduction of electronic swipe cards for all employees.

It was therefore quite a surprise when an acquaintance confided to me that he had been able last week to access the inner sanctum of Parliament House without any current identification or security pass.

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Chiffon #27

Hello,

Well here I am, once again, what a fucking day I am having, life is still O.K. however I must tell you I am a little bit bemused by the rumors and innuendo that seem to persist around me and the things I amuse myself with. I do not have any explanation for them other than there is a lot of jealous pebbles in this town as well as other towns and their insistence to big note themselves only makes them seem a lot smaller, CRIKEY, , you know what I mean. I must take a deep breath, but I will not inhale.

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Gertrude vs. My Little Pony

Gertrude's Diary

Beware the insidious evil that lurks beneath the Christmas Tree: My Little Pony.

My experience with My Little Pony began about 4 years ago when my daughter reached an age when well-intentioned people began to give them as gifts. Unlikely-coloured animals with unusually coquettish postures began to appear around the house, adding an exotic touch to the ranks of toys.

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INSATIABLE BANALITIES #63. Zwish

Present: John Griffiths, Jim Boots, Kandy A, Gertrude

Our musical guests are Bryn, Leah, Tom, Sam and Rob of Zwish, who decline to play any live tracks, but are very forthcoming (they brought bananas as a gift) in other areas, letting slip, amongst other things: some of the secrets of the cricket dressing room (with pole dancing exploits), the fact they don’t know how to play ‘Khe Sahn’, their ruthless band member replacement policies, some nipple licking stories, various transgressions of the rules of the road and what they do with bananas in Cootamundra.

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Rudi’s Christmas Message 2006

Many Canberrans will be familiar with Rudi de Jong’s hulking frame wandering his patch between the City and the Gorman House Markets, plying his trade which exists somewhere in the grey area between self-published poet and beggar.

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All I want for Christmas…

Being not a Christian (while being quite fond of Christ himself), Christmas isn’t particularly significant for me, aside from the fact that, at Christmas time, all the people I can normally safely avoid during the working week are suddenly around, all day long, and pestering me to do things with/for them.

I not-so-grudgingly attend, family is family after all, and I’m thankful that at least we’ve finally dispensed with the giving of presents. Shock! Horror! The retailers won’t like this development. It’s possible we would fail the dinkum Aussie test on that score alone.

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INSATIABLE BANALITIES #62. Samantha Davidson

Present: John Griffiths, Jim Boots, Kandy A

Absent: Gertrude

Our musical guest is keyboardist and classically trained singer-songwriter, soft-tissue therapist and mother of five, Samantha Davidson.

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Bye Bye Blunnies

It is with some sadness that I refer you to the Sydney Morning Herald’s report of the imminent closure of Blundstone Boots’ Australian manufacturing as they follow the herd to the greener pastures in SE Asia. I’m not going to launch into a protectionist rant here or bewail the effects of globalisation, nor am I going to get all jingoistic about a bloody pair of boots, bloody good, and all-Australian, though they may (have) be(en).

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More Grief for Smokers

Coming hard on the heels of the recent banning of smoking in pubs in Canberra, the Community and Public Sector Union (CPSU) has advised its members in the Australian Tax Office (ATO) of impending changes to the ATO’s ‘Smoke Free Workplace Policy’.

Not content with banning smoking ‘in’ the workplace, or even ‘on’ workplace property (ie. smokers having to leave departmental property to smoke, for example: across the road), the Tax Office has floated a policy which bans staff from smoking during work hours at all. Here is the ATO’s proposal:

1. To design and implement a policy to ban smoking by employees
whilst they are on duty (including morning and afternoon tea).
This would include overtime, attending meetings, travel in an
official capacity on Tax Office business etc.

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PJ Who?

Intrepid culture vulture that I am, I followed the whiff of a cultural event from it’s first tantalising puff through the Myspace experience to find myself yesterday seated front row in the lobby of the Street Theatre for the launch of ‘Storms, Dreams and Flying Machines’, a CD produced by a recent arrival in Canberra, PJ Wolf.

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Chiffon #26

Hello,

I am finding myself going through what can only be described as an Altered Attitude. This is the result of accepting the truth about my reality, and applying a rigorous and thorough honesty to everything I do (something I am not very good at yet).

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Drought Declared in Canberra

by The Suburban Drug Dealer

Canberra is now officially drought-declared. It has been four weeks since marijuana was readily available around town and the natives are becoming restless. Unfortunately the first suggestions of a break in the chain of supply came as my stash was dwindling. Assurances were given that a day or two would see things right, but the days turned into a week and then hope dimmed and was extinguished, my stash ran out and the stream of plaintive calls from increasingly nervous regular customers died away.

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Gertrude’s Diary #27 – Truly, Madly… badly

Gertrude's Diary

It has been an entertaining month in Gertrude-world. As well as the burlesque circus that is Insatiable Banalities and it”s big brother, The Backyard Backanalia, I saw Norman Gunston interviewing Frank Zappa on the ABC”s 50 Year special, which is my idea of the perfect TV moment and I now have no need to ever watch TV again. Unless they repeat the Gunston and Zappa thing.

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Santa Roars to Town

Saturday morning shoppers in Garema Place yesterday may have been alarmed at first as a horde of throbbing motorcycles invaded. Organised by the ACT Motorcycle Riders Association, the event was a fund and toy raiser for charities. They were joined by a posse of Posties on their scooters and Gary Humphries, looking tres cool in a leather jacket, was spied amongst the throng riding pillion. Click below for pics. I particularly like the walking christmas tree.

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