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Coffee Bitch #6 Deli Marco, Dickson 26/03/07

3 Beans

Deli Marco

Thirty years ago, a town square in Canberra brimming with the customers and tables of three cafe’s was a dream too far. You’ll find this dream in Dickson, where Hudsons, the Rendezvous and Deli Marco snuggle together.

Thankfully Deli Marco removed the concept of bland from my head and from palate. This was a good coffee. Wicked crema. Very strong mouth, and no subtle flavour. On the dark and caramel side without excess acidity. The grind is so fine, you’ll notice fine grains through your cup. This cafe uses a commercial system where roast beans are vacuum packed in small lots and delivered straight to the grinder. That the beans aren’t sitting around going stale is noticeable.

The Whipple Spot

Back in 2005 I wrote an article on female ejaculation, a subject apparently of interest to a great many people, judging by the amount of go-oglers searching for it, and which very shortly after it was written saved a friend from an embarrassing incident when he realised his acquaintance of the evening wasn’t peeing all over him but was actually in the throes of an ecstatic expulsion.

It’s quite amazing really that knowledge of this phenomena has only recently entered the realms of science, anatomy and the like, the female sexual apparatus being rather ignored by largely male scientists who possibly were too shy or too dim-witted to see the value in fully understanding how women’s bits work.

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The Great Iraq ‘n Oil Swindle

‘History is littered with examples of nations over-reacting to perceived threats’. So said our fearless leader in parliament yesterday. Unfortunately he was not talking about the war on terror and Australia’s embrace of American-style paranoia, erosion of civil liberties and pre-emptive attacks on sovereign nations.

Rather he was talking about global warming, responding to Michael Stern’s National Press Club address today (in which Stern recommended a 60% reduction in carbon emissions by 2050) and reminding us once again that the setting of ‘unrealistic’ targets for CO2 production will damage Australia’s economy.

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Non-Smoker’s Smelly Revenge

This being an august journal read by intellectuals and such, there’s probably no point in posting a link to a story about a Scottish man being banned from his local for farting too much…

It is interesting though. Prior to Scotland banning smoking in pubs, the fellow apparently could fart with abandon, the offensive odour only becoming apparent once the pall of smoke receded.

Canberra has also banned smoking in pubs and my local is not the safe haven for smelly people it once was. No longer can one consider the possibility of having a long-overdue shower prior to going out and abandon the idea on the basis that ‘you’re only going to The Phoenix.’ One wonders, now that everyone can smell everyone else, how long it will be before heavy perfume, body odour, farts, bad breath and other forms of air pollution will be banned in public…

Coffee Bitch #5: Sfoglia, Dickson. 26/03/07

3 1/2 Beans

Sfoglia Cafe

By popular demand.

Ok the service was snappy; and Sfoglia is sophisticated to the extent of providing water. However, generic pine furniture? I’m going to spew. The bright red service barriers are cool. The coffee was bland. Yes bland. Crap commercial radio through the outdoor speakers. Not cool.

Insatiable Banalities #69: Nick Delatovic

Nick Delatovic

Present: John Griffiths, Jim Boots, Gertrude, Candy A, Sharkie, Alex, Cassidy Buxton, Caitlin Buxton.

This week’s guest is Nick Delatovic, singer with The Missing Lincolns. A prolific song writer, Nick’s also charming, funny and exhibits a healthy mix of self-confidence and self-deprecation. Six songs are recorded live in the pod.

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More Spam, with a National Flavour

An acquaintance forwarded me an unsolicited email she received at her Federal Government workplace from David Madew, National Party candidate for the seat of Monaro in the NSW election on Saturday. She was unaware of any manner in which Madew would have legitimately obtained her email address. Madew wrote:

Morris Iemma and Michael Costa have already declared that they still want to sell Snowy Hydro if they win this election. The local Labor MP has said that he wants to sell the Snowy to the Federal government, thereby losing control of it. What guarantees that a future federal government would not be tempted to sell Snowy Hydro off to assist their bottom line?

What indeed, but how did he get my friend’s addy? Fortunately Madew was in attendance on the mobile phone number listed on his site and was able to explain that my friend must have signed an on-line petition at savesnowyhydro.com (not in operation at time of posting) which, Madew advised, was his baby.

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Gertrude’s Diary #28 – Fashion

Gertrude's Diary

I”ve never understood the whole “dress for success” thing.Sure, I myself used to have a wardrobe of severely cut suits and button-down shirts, with a selection of court shoes in a low heel to go with them.I put make-up on every day and did my nails and kept my hair nice and it was all part of what you did when you worked in sales and marketing and had meetings in sumptuous harbour-side offices.And it was almost all a waste of time and money.Beyond maintaining acceptable levels of personal hygiene, there”s no reason for your appearance to interfere with your ability to plan a campaign for building share in the Australian beverage market.

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Would it be possible to make a penis enlarger ad more unappealing?

penis enlarger spam

Another Good Reason to be a Musician?

The morning news (Today: Nine 6am) delivered a startling incongruity with, firstly, reports that a football player I’ve never heard of has been abusing substances. Karl Stefanovic, the thinking woman’s blow-up sex doll, batted down Sara O’Hare’s barely formed thought that recreational drugs will hardly enhance a football player’s performance and got her to agree that sports stars have a responsibility to be a good role model.

Meanwhile Nicole Kidman’s latest, Keith Urban, is in Australia and the show is devoted, in part, to promoting his tour and convincing us all that Urban is, to quote Karl, ‘such a nice guy’. There is frank discussion of Urban’s recent stint in rehab but not so much as a whiff of criticism of the behaviour that led him there.

What is going on here? Should musicians (and artists and actors) feel a bit miffed that no-one expects them to uphold the same standard of behaviour as brutish footy thugs? Are they so insignificant? Or should they simply be grateful that everyone understands that creativity and being whacked out on drugs go hand in hand?

The Future Fund Eaters

The Labor Party announced yesterday its policy of ripping $4.7 billion out of the Future Fund, which is invested by a team of government picked economists and bankers and such, and investing it in a super broadband network (40 times current speeds) reaching 98% of the population.

The Future Fund, largely constructed of money from the sale of Telstra, has been invested, one imagines, in good growth stocks like overseas telecommunications companies. It is designed to partly offset the country’s future unfunded superannuation liabilities and the cost of feeding and bumwiping all the baby boomers as they decay.

Taking money from the Future Fund to invest in Australia’s own telecommunications infrastructure, despite being probably a great investment in financial terms as well as in the boost it would give to the economy and many other social benefits is, according to the Treasurer, robbing Australia’s future. Labor intends to sell off the family silver, says Costello. But if you sell the family silver and buy more, better, family silver with the proceeds, how can you go wrong?

Australia’s millions of slavering internet junkies don’t give a damn. Bring it on!

Evil Alisandra in Wonderpark ll. 16. Episodial on Wonderpark Mars

The Face on Mars in Cydonia was calling too and the magnetic field it generated that night might have caused a couple of earthquakes. EA swears the moon has been moving to odd positions each night. The large orange moon the other night that just seemed to appear eastwards was spookville.

DeVinci and his crowd. How do you dust the inside of Cathetrals? You just retain the Cathetral in the exact dimension it has always been in say around 1600 or something and then reverse the time consistently with the time hexagram database stolen by Mr Lollyman. The trouble is if you live in the Cathedral you will become eternal – so crypts are essential to prove death – explanation not required.

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Using Three Words

Present: John Griffiths, Jim Boots, Gertrude, Candy A, Tom and George the naughty dog.

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Letters from Prison #8

Letters from Prison


Hey P-,

Well, it seems that I am slowly dying in here. I feel like there is nothing for me on the outside. I got a visit from M- & S- today. It is good to see that they are back together and they will probably tell you that I’m doing alright but the show I put on in front of them only made me break down and cry when I got back to my cell. I fear that I am losing control of my sanity. The Screws locked everyone back in their cells early today because one bloke went off his head when he found out his girlfriend had been caught bringing drugs in. The Squad showed up and they put him back into the main yard. Why did they lock us up? It wasn’t our fault his stupidity got him tipped! I am sick of this place. I want out! I know how a caged animal feels, being locked up, not being able to run free, not being able to decide where it wants to be at any given moment.

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How do we solve a problem like Pauline?

‘What is it you cunt face?’ Mother Superior is famously known to have asked dear Maria (thanks to Gertrude for pointing out this incongruity) as she was thrust on the horns of her terrible dilemma: to love God or the hot older rich guy. Maria (from The Sound of Music if you haven’t worked it out yet) was sweet, gentle, pretty and had a pure loving heart, much like Australia’s latest celebrity candidate for the forthcoming federal election, Pauline Hanson.

Pauline Hanson

Image borrowed from the ABC.

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