Culturazi

Some years ago I attempted to engage the right-wing blogosphere, particularly the blog of Tim Blair, in rational argument about the issues of the day. I failed to engender anything but abuse and gave up. I haven’t got the endurance of, say, Grodscorp, which appears locked in a battle to the death with such as Blair, Bolt and a cast of minor troglodytes. But the other day I absentmindedly had a peruse of Blair’s new Daily Telegraph blog and couldn’t help having a little dig.

Blair, one of the remaining few climate-change denialists, had posted another silly story pointing out that it’s snowing in the northern hemisphere and therefore climate change ain’t happening. I couldn’t help making a comment:

This theme of yours Tim, that continuing wintery conditions somehow bely the predictions of climate change scientists, while hilariously funny (well I’m sure at least some people find it mildly amusing), is as tired and over-flogged as your own organs of reproduction. Can I suggest a new tack? Perhaps you could begin by observing that the flatness of the Earth, when viewed from, say, the middle of a football field, is blindingly apparent and is actually a fact?

Or words to that effect. I can’t remember exactly. And it’s a pretty lame comment I agree. But I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. Blair has always had comment moderaters, and in the old days they were pretty hard-nosed and partisan, frequently banning interlopers. Perhaps I should have been warned. As Blair advises on the last post of his old blog:

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Tags: Politics by loadedog
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Postmark 6th January, 1970

25 Blacket St
Downer
ACT, 2602

Mon 5-1-70

To my Handsome and Wonderful husband Jock,

How are you my dearest? Well, I hope. I have been feeling very lovesick for you these last couple of days my love, and at times I feel like I could scream.

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Tags: Vietnam Letters by Mr Jones
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It has been nigh on impossible to ignore the US Presidential Election for the last… fuckin how long? Although I’m sure you haven’t all been as masochistic as I have. I’ve attempted to watch all of all the debates, tried to read all the commentary in all the newpapers and periodicals (really, all of them) and scoured the internets for polls, tidbits, trivia, minutiae and a bit of how the other side is thinking.

So, you know, my knowledge of this election campaign is as encyclopaedic as if I could see the White House from my very doorstep. And the thing that’s missing for me in all this grand theatre of democracy is one simple question. Not who designed Sarah Palin’s suit. Not whether Obama once had sex with Mata Hari. Not whether the candidates believe in an imminent Armageddon… No wait. That was it. I really think it’s quite pertinent that we know if the next leader of the ‘free world’ believes in an imminent Armageddon. You know, where plague and pestilence, fire and brimstone, all that horrible stuff Christians are so good at making up, is going to subsume the Earth, but only after all the good Christians have been elevated off to Heaven or somewhere.

Because if you believe that stuff, then I reckon it’d have to have a pretty big influence on some of your policies. In that context, climate change is just part of the plan and slogans such as ‘drill baby drill’ make great sense. There would be no need to worry about massive overseas debt either. Send the bill to heaven, suckers. Any need to consider the long term relationships you might have with countries of other faiths? Pah!

Once you start thinking this way, you find it solves a lot of problems. Assuming you’re a good Christian, which I am. The rest of you, forget it. You’re fucked. So anyway, please ask the candidates that question, and the one who says they believe in imminent Armageddon and will do all in their power to bring it on, that’s the one for me. Now forgive me, I have to go and sodomise a goat.

Tags: Politics by loadedog
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I’ve just lost my post for the second time this morning.  I thought I was connected to the internet both times.  Both times I was not connected to the internet.  If you are using word press and you are not connected to the internet and you press save it does not save.  It anti-saves.  A bit like the anti-christ.  Actually, a lot like the anti-christ.

I’ve been up since 5.00 am.  Wildflower was recently given a small electronic organiser which she had managed to program to start beeping before dawn.  She of course slept straight through it, in the manner of young children.  In my sleep-befuddled state I couldn’t even open the wretched thing.  Finally I switched it off and put if somewhere safe, but even after I’d thrown it out the window I couldn’t get back to sleep.

I got up and took the bunny for a cavort on the front lawn.  He was unusually frisky in the cool, early morning air.   My usual rabbit wrangling tactics had no effect, which is how I came to be chasing him off the neighbours front lawn in baggy, hot pink pyjama pants, a singlet, sheepskin slippers and a black woollen shawl.   Oh the glamour.

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Tags: Gertrude by Gertrude
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‘Your data suggest no difference in your automatic preferences for White people vs. Black people

Your data suggests a strong automatic preference for Barack Obama over John McCain’

Dang. I was sort of hoping the implicit assumption test would expose me as a closet racist. One of those people who might say in a poll that they’ll vote for a black man, but just can’t face it when it comes to polling time, the so-called Bradley Effect. Not so, but then I reckon I’ll have a chance to vote for a black man as Australian Prime Minister at about the same time as a Muslim has a real shot at the US presidency. I mean a real Muslim. Cause Obama’s not a Muslim. Not that it should matter. Some of my best friends are Muslims. And black people. Actually most of my best friends are middle-class, middle-aged women. What’s with that?

Tags: Politics by loadedog
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Tags: Art by loadedog
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with Julia and the Deep Sea Sirens

Tags: Music, Posters, Theatre by loadedog
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Tags: Art by loadedog
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nice skin

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The CMC presents ‘Captain my Captain‘, an free evening of musical entertainment on the first Wednesday of every month. It’s open to all comers, but CMC members will receive a 10% discount on all drinks upon presentation of their membership card.

Tags: Music, Posters by loadedog
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‘My center is giving way. My right is in retreat. Situation excellent. I attack!’

So said General Ferdinand Foch of France to his commanding general, Joseph Joffre, according to William Kristol. So said one of Napoleon’s generals, according to Peter Roebuck. Both used the quote on the same day, coincidentally. Roebuck is wrong on the attribution but possibly correct in his advice to the Australian cricket team. When you’re on foreign pitches with a meagre bowling attack and a patchy batting order, there is little to be gained by battening down the hatches. Besides, it’s boring.

Be gallant in defeat they might as well say, though not nearly as much hangs on the result of a tour of India as on next Tuesday’s election. Kristol, who co-founded the Project for a New American Century, has not yet abandoned the good ship McCain and is one of the few ‘conservative’ pundits to still consider Sarah Palin an asset. He remains steadfastly, eerily, optimistic, insisting that one of McCain’s main weapons is that the US is finally winning the war in Iraq (an adventure, it must be said, for which Kristol was an aggressive advocate).

Suggesting that McCain and Palin should take over the campaign, Kristol advises: ‘then (they) can spend the final week speaking for themselves. They should throw themselves open full time to the media. Could the press coverage get worse?’ I’m afraid it could, William. Putting Sarah Palin full time in front of a camera at this time is the cricketing equivalent of commencing the fourth innings against the West Indies (of yore) on the last day with 400 to win and sending out Glenn McGrath and the team mascot, assuming it were a bunny as well.

The pendulum has swung so far in Obama’s favour, however, that McCain’s fate on November 4 is already sealed. All that’s in doubt is the extent of the rout. McCain, whose policy proclivities have veered wildly during the campaign, can preserve some of his dignity, and could possibly save the party from long-term demoralisation, but probably not both at once. Palin can retire to Alaska where they must be having serious doubts about her capacity to govern right now. And Kristol, his New American Century now consigned to histories of disastrous imperial overshoot, well, who gives a toss?

Speaking of which, make sure you win the toss, Ponting, and give the cherry a good smack will you old boy.

Tags: Politics by loadedog
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Click the pic to see the Naked Guy. Perhaps when you’re not at work.

Tags: Culture by loadedog
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Tags: Music, Posters by loadedog
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‘Well, we all get up at 5:30am and shower thoroughly, shave all crevices, brush our teeth, and apply perfume and/or sweet smelling lotions. We then sneak back into bed smelling all fresh, where we proceed to wake up our husbands up with oral sex.  After morning sex, we go make a three-course breakfast for our families and send everyone off to school/work. We attend aerobics/pilates/kickboxing classes weekly to keep up the cardio, and we eat protein bars to help sustain us. We masturbate five times daily to keep our drives up, and then we have a gourmet dinner ready when our husbands come home from a long day’s work. We then give our husbands a foot rub while they watch the game on TV. During half time we have sex again and then we wash up and retire for the night. Isn’t that how it works at your house?’

I think it’s pretty safe to say it doesn’t happen like that in our house…

The above comes from a web site called Christian Nymphos – Marital Sex: Spicy the way God intended it to be. Therein we learn that Christians, far from their stereotypical image of prudish frigidity, are getting freaky in the bedroom and even, shock horror, other rooms and in positions other than the missionary. The CN girls give advice on sexual technique, as well as theological advice such as, since anal sex isn’t mentioned in the Bible, it’s ok to do it with your hubby.

Sluttiness is next to Godliness – got that all you Christians. Rimming isn’t sinning. Speaking in tongues? Such cunning linguistics.

As with all things Christian, the fun has to stop somewhere. Generally this involves involving anyone else in the fun, which from my perspective takes a lot of the fun out of it. Nevertheless, it’s nice to think that our Christian brothers and sisters are enjoying a little more than lying back and thinking of John Howard.

PS. I’m pretty sure the quoted paragraph is ironic, in case the feminists amongst you were outraged by the stepford tone. It seems Christians can have a sense of humour as well.

Tags: Culture, Sexuality by loadedog
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