Gertrude’s Diary #73 – Critical Skills Shortage

Gertrude's Diary

While speaking recently with my associate and man of letters Henri Roper, we fell to discussing the matter of the critical skills shortage.” I feel that I can help address this matter, and so have rattled off this open letter to our leaders of government and industry.

Dear Decision-makers,

I understand from my study of current affairs that we are facing a critical skills shortage here in Australia.” I wish to offer my services to alleviate the crisis.

I have very well-developed critical skills, as demonstrated by my insightful review of Not Tomorrow But The Next Day.” But my skills aren’t limited to the run-of-the-mill cinematic or literary fields.” Why, just within the confines of this blog I have also criticised all manner of things and people, from fashion to football, from John Howard to my next-door neighbour.” Even loadedog has been known to invoke my ire, proving I am unafraid to offend friend, foe, or publisher.

I have several elderly relatives who are also well-versed in the art of criticism.” There are even a couple who specialise in criticism of Australian immigration policies post-Menzies, with interests including the repugnant nature of “foreign” food and it’s link to declining moral standards.

More importantly, I have several exes who can add some balance to the enterprise by being highly critical of me.” Not that you can believe a word that they say… but I won’t go into detail.” I’ll save that for the highly paid consultant’s report I’ll shortly be commissioned to write.

Watch out for me on the 7.30 Report.” Kerry O’Brien”is going to be all over this, for sure.

Yours faithfully
Gertrude

2 Responses to “Gertrude’s Diary #73 – Critical Skills Shortage”

  1. Dear Gertrude

    It saddens me to see your wonderful creative spirit sullied by such appeals to our lords and mistresses. Surely you are happy and secure in the knowledge that you can split a definitive more easily than a politician can spot an advantage and that armed with such knowledge and your uncanny knack for being in the right place at the wrong time it is only a matter of time before you are the next chosen one.

    Still I think that your credentials are impressive and no doubt you will find suitable offers for your highly developed skills flooding your in box in the near future. I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

    q

  2. Dear q

    I was writing ironically. I have no wish to be chosen for anything and as far as I am concerned the lords and mistresses can kiss my irreverent arse.

    When I read your comment, well, it was almost like you were criticising me.

    g