INSATIABLE BANALITIES #44

No real special guests this time, though Sanjiva de Silva and Alice did pop in for a while towards the end. We feature the music of Baron Samadhi, specifically their new CD, ‘On the S.S. Anytime’. Besides querying the meaning on some of the more racy songs on the album, the general impression is that it’s a great CD.

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Other topics of conversation include: Gerturde’s shocking haircut, Johnboy’s shocking hat, the Beaconsfield miners and Richard Carleton’s demise, brothels for virgins, the production values of Noise TV, John Hopoate’s new boxing nickname (King of the Ring), efforts to train the Chinese not to spit everywhere, the new dirt pill, the timely demise of Troy Takiari, the new!shop exhibition and a quick review of the Sony EOS 350D.

Track List:

Summerfruit. 2:51

Father, Son, Sister, Mum. 16:11

I Won’t. 23:02

Turkish Delight. 40:19

My Dear. 57:37

COMMENTS:

Baron Samadhi ” the defence speaks.

I recently listened to the 44th podcast of Insatiable Banalities and was surprised to find that the bulk of the program cantered around this question. Am I, James Marshall a Paedophile?

It begins with: “So Jim, You think these lyrics refer to underage girls”

“How young are we talking” “Hard to say”. Apparently not. Shortly after, the age of 14 is suggested and agreed upon. “He likes licking little girls pussies.”

After playing each song, this line of speculation and accusation continues.

Another guest who comes in half way through the show was asked straight up:

“Do you have any suspicions at all that James Marshall has got an interest in underage girls”

His wife, trying to answer this loaded question had this gem to offer:

“This girl *** that he used to go out with, used to wear school girl like outfits to gigs. That”s true. Those little skirts that you wore in P.E at high school.”

Jesus, apart from the fact that at the gig in question I was no longer with *** and she was having an affair with Sanjays guitarist (better do a police check on him to I suppose) and that at any dress up party the most common female costumes are nurse and schoolgirl; this is a laughable comment, but was clearly not said as a joke.

What were the other compelling pieces of evidence presented? Specifically they revolved around a line from the first song Summerfruit”

“My brain is scattered my will is shattered, here”s a little ballad bout a sweet fruit salad. There”s nothing to lose, get covered in juice, don”t wash for a week it turns into booze ”

The reviewer insists that this is a clear allusion to female ejaculation and cunnilingus. Well if that”s what you see Jim, I”m happy I could help conjure that image for you. But I”m not happy to sit back while a smug armchair psychoanalyst builds an entire radio show around calling me a rock spider.

I have various dubious reputations which are generally fair, but this one is not.

“I can”t wait for a sunny day, can”t wait for nothing, time”s ticking away”.

Lament for opportunity lost, eating an unripe stone fruit, female ejaculation? –

Up to you, choose your own adventure kids. And now the damning proof:

“There”s a little peach, just out of reach. Not quite ripe but I still want a bite.”

Mr Boots(??) soon goes onto luridly and confidently assert that this is referring to “a 14 year olds vagina”.

Hate to ruin it for you but this song is about fruit. I wrote it after working in a peach orchard when I was 17. “I don”t miss blue water, I don”t miss the beach, I don”t miss what I oughta I just miss Wisbey”s peach” (Wisbey was the name of the farm). This song is a bit of nonsense about missing fresh fruit when the summer ends. It also refers to women and it contains adult themes: So What.

“Ship them in from Miami, watch that shit for DDT Mangoes in from Paraguay, give the locals MCI (multiple chemical intolerance) What you put in apple pie, watch the birds and flowers die. Summerfruit is dying Summerfruit is dead.”

The final lines of the song were not mentioned on air, perhaps because even the most imaginative interpretation would find it difficult to suggest that this was referring to young girls. Lets move onto the song that actually deserves some controversy; “Father Son Sister Mum”. This song is about internet kiddie porn, plain and simple. The protagonist chances upon a home movie uploaded by an ex lover, of his teenage girlfriend. The next thing you know he:

“right clicks on a pick that”s hard to gauge, whether that sheila was underage. Oh I was caught in the net now I regret to say I”m he-bitch for the boys inside the cage. Euro, preteen, upskirt, schoolgirl, Russia and Ukraine. Submit a search and you will find it harder to explain. To Interpol why your Visa gold disputes your sincere claim. I”m not like Humbert Humbert sir, I swear that I was framed””??

In this song we have gingerly jumped over any boundaries of good taste and in the process I feel we have written the funniest song I”ve ever put lyrics to. Do we endorse Child pornography and abuse? No. I”m sure anyone with any concept of satire will see that immediately. And we are not alone in this kind of lyrical device. The Who”s “Fiddle
About” jumps to mind. When Eminem sings about murdering his pregnant wife is it a confession? Did John Lennon really beat his woman and keep her apart from the things that she loves?

Musicians and writers describe the entire spectrum of human experience and imagination. It doesn”t mean they have to actually do it all.If you can laugh at priest and altar boy and teenage Queanbeyan mother jokes then get off your balding arts degree high (caution) horse and laugh at this song.

Mr Boots also fails to mention the other song on the album covering this topic, “Please Wait”. I wrote this years ago, about underage girls tarting themselves up and hitting the town and it is a warning to them:

“First night out underage, meet men of prey by the stage. She looks grown up, tells herself so but to prove it to an older man how far will she go. Please wait one night, it”s clearer in daylight. His words are lies
etc..”

I think it”s a bit of a na”ve sentiment now but it”s there all the same.

Sending our album to Loaded Dog we were inviting musical criticism. They are welcome to shred the songs but their character assassination of me is disgusting and cheap. They have leapt far out of the sphere of any kind of journalistic integrity into opinion driven sensationalistic slander.

I”d like to move on from this topic because I feel far to much of the space that could have gone to having a proper look at a very dense and thematically expansive album has been wasted.

For those who may be under the impression that “On the S.S Anytime” is really Lolita the musical, you may be interested to know that it covers other topics such as true love, remorse, infidelity (between two consenting adults of legal age), revenge, drug addled seafaring, getting old, Nuns and hookers, sushi and Baklava.

While I”m at it, I”d like to address Some of Mr Boot”s musical criticisms. Namely that as a funk band we are adding too many incongruous elements into our music and playing our instruments too well.

If you look at what this band currently does, you”ll see there is very little pure funk in it. I don”t call us a funk band anymore. We are a party band. We make people dance and go mental. We do this with an eclectic palette. We mix vivid shades of dancehall with pop, Country with metal, disco with Latin and that”s what we have always done. That is our style or anti style and it is what anyone who likes us, likes us for.

This album is certainly dense; it is packed to the gills with ideas, different instruments, moods and eras. Each song works as an episode and the album as a journey. It”s not simply a matter of pasting together contrary genres. Each arrangement is deliberately built on shifting intensities, and surprising twists. We are revelling in the fact that we have lasted this long without any mainstream success and have pushed our unmarketable music to hilarious extremes. What”s more, the songs are fucking funny. One-liners abound:

“When she was 17 she sold herself for money

You may laugh man but I tell you it”s not funny

When the chick you dig is out pulling tricks

You”ve had less hot showers than she has had hot dicks”

“Oh mama give me sherwama, I”m on my knees to Allah

Shish tawook, tahini, you”re the bottle I”m the genie”

“She comes from Nara, Hatsumi”s her father

She would rather fuck Bon Jovi than be with me.”

Genius.

Yes this band is sexual, yes we sing about chicks and sex and dress up as pimps and get naked and have dancing girls in nurses outfits onstage. You want me to apologise for or justify this? Get fucked. The audience love it, we have fun and everyone gets the joke.

It”s the acoustic folky rock bands that sing saccharine tunes of unrequited love and deep emotion that you must be wary of.

Lets take a little example from Jim Boots own songs”and he has the gall to call my lyrics drivel”

“Love is a word, it”s got many meanings

Sometimes it”s absurd, it depends how you”re feeling

If you”re on your own, it can come out like sorrow

If you”re with the ones you love. Let there be no tomorrow”

“I”m going down in a hail of beer

I”m feeling fine and my conscience is clear

I know that I have nothing to fear

Except for ein zwei drei FEAR”

“I remember you said last October

You said it wasn”t over

It never had begun at all

All I did was buy you flowers call you every hour

And this is what you said

It”s all in my head”

*Retch*

Anyway” This band was built on the irreverent. It has always been over the top, absurd, tongue in cheek. We take the piss out of everyone and the biggest laugh we reserve for ourselves.

Baron Samadhi: 6 years, 12 line up changes, hundreds of shows in the most inappropriate of venues; from kids parties, posing as an 80″s covers band at Shooters, playing at the Rebel biker gang club house, touring in spluttering jalopies to play to 30 bogans in tiny towns, crashing on my aunties floor, constantly in debt and trading a secure life in the public service to follow an insane, fundamentally flawed dream” If after all that, occasionally a nineteen year old arty chick wants to go to bed with me because I”m “slinky” and in a band, then I am as truly grateful as any rock musician worth their salt should be.

For all your thoughtful artistic criticism, compliments and comments I thank the Loaded Dog team and for their wildly inappropriate suggestions about my private life I say, Next time I”m taking you to court.

Peace and Love. Sex and Death.

James Marshall 23rd May 2006Baron Samadhi”s controversial (ooooOOOOO!) new album “On the S.S Anytime” is available at landspeed records or through their website www.baronsamadhi.com

Jim Boots Responds: Yeah, whatever.

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