Down the road from me lives this bloke. Not a bad sort of fella: hard working, clever, shows initiative. Maybe a little reckless sometimes, but perhaps you should judge that for yourself.
This bloke loves tinkering. Always working away in his shed on some new project. So the other day, he comes up to see me all excited because he’s assembled this new creature called man. But he’s a little put out because his brother, who keeps a jar full of fantastic physical attributes, has already given all the best qualities away to the various beasts; claws, fangs, poison spines, gills: all gone.
But like I said, he’s an inventive sort, so he decides to give this man something none of the beasts have: fire. Nips up to the heavens for the sacred flame and gets man a terrific little barbeque to play with. Man is thrilled, and my mate feels rather pleased with himself and goes away happy. He really should have known how that would piss off Zeus who is notoriously jealous of all barbequeing duties. He just can’t stand anyone else standing at the grill with a stupid apron and a pair of tongs.
So suddenly my mate from down the road is drawing all this heat from the big Z himself, whose influence extends to every corner of his life, including his work. Poor bugger gets a transfer to the file management division where he ends up chained to the shelving with a liver eating vulture for company.
And just to add insult to injury, Zeus creates this other creature called woman. Curious beast, she is. Has to stick her nose into everything. Ends up marrying my mate’s brother Afterthought. Funny name. His parents must have really had it in for him. Anyway, this woman starts tinkering with the stuff he keeps in his shed – even though he specifically told her not to touch it – and ends up letting out plague, disease, envy, spite and revenge. Heavy shit. The only thing he’s got left in there now is Hope.
And of course, no one but Zeus gets to do much barbequeing anymore, ’cause they’re all too busy stuffing around with all the nasty stuff Afterthought’s wife unleashed.
The first person to post the correct answer in the comments section wins a coffee with Gertrude at the inner-north Canberra cafe of their choice. Knock yourselves out.