Gertrude’s Diary #102 – Repeating Myself Again

Well, here we are again with a review of the world of Gertrude to date.  Last week we looked at the first 50 entries, so now onto a summary of a few more.  I also need to apologise to everyone for trying to blame others for my diary being trite, boring and repetitive.  And as Johnboy asked so nicely, I promise I won’t try to describe my dreams.  Although there was this really good one with a whale, a fountain pen and a plate of jelly…

51.  Gertrude falls off her bike and some drunk people laugh at her.  She is bitter and sarcastic towards them.

52.  Gertrude has a garage sale and uses this as an analogy for the electoral process.

53.  Gertrude writes a fairy tale allegory of the life and times of a disliked politician, implying that he is a personality-deprived cipher working exclusively for the interests of big business.

54.  Gertrude takes a look at the different ways that some men approach emotional matters.  She implies that most of them have the EQ of a gnat.

55.  Gertrude thinks she can give advice on the distribution of labour within the nuclear family.  Why on earth would anyone want to open that can of worms?

56.  This post was about dealing with writers’ block, and was aimed at getting Loadedog to start writing again.  That’s 15 months ago now and he’s still not writing.  I think we move onto plan B which is just a simple and swift kick up the arse.

57.  Gertrude expresses trepidation about driving in Sydney because of all the traffic.  Next thing she’ll be complaining about the graffiti.

58.  Gertrude asks her readers to help solve the mysteries of life.  For instance, what flavour is creaming soda, and other deep questions.

59.  Gertrude confesses her fear of running out of butter.

60.  Gertrude goes all poetic on us about Lake George.

61.  Gertrude’s still getting literary and pretentious.

62.  Now she’s trying to sound like a policy paper.

63.  Gertrude share’s her wisdom about making tea.  It just doesn’t get any more exciting than this.

64.   A cute little fairy tale about overthrowing the capitalist beast.  Now sadly unneccessary and out of date.

65.  Corinbank 2008.

66.  What would some marraiges look like if the partners forgot their likes and dislikes and had to rely on their partners to enlighten them?  It would look like this.

67.  Gertrude is in trouble at work, and is making stupid jokes about it which really doesn’t help.

68.  Gertrude is rattling on about the same old inconsequential trivia.

69.  Gertrude really can’t decide whether she’s coming or going.  Is this good, is this bad, can we live without ruining the world? She does like to moan.

70.  This one’s quite funny.  Total fabrication, of course.  Absolute nonsense.

71.  How to sew.  This is almost as good as how to make tea.

72.  Stupid and possibly dangerous advice that no one asked for.

73.  Critical skills shortage.  I am critical of almost everything, in the sense that I whinge a lot about stuff, and therefore conclude that my skills are in high demand.

74.  More advice, this time based on a couple of entries from a recent book about cleaning.  Sewing, cleaning and making tea.  Oh, the glamour.

75.   Gertrude’s readers give her some welcome advice regarding how to eat properly.  Maybe she won’t be so deranged in her next entry.

76.  Nope, still quite deranged.  This time she’s trying out some ideas for tv shows no one will ever want to make.

77.  Domesticity and how not to deal with it.

78.  Gertrude pretends to interview herself.  Some sort of long and expensive psychological therapy is indicated.

79.  Gertrude gives up smoking and is tiresome about it.

80.  Gertrude is going to the movies and reading some books. She’s just non-stop colour and movement, isn’t she?

81 – 100.  Oh for goodness sake just read them yourself if you’re interested.  85, 89 and 96 are some of my personal favourites but the rest of them are probably rubbish.

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