Evil Alisandra in Wonderpark ll. 7. Playground Canberra

Woden Hospital

Evil Alisandra has scored some temporary work. This means she is still only half-employed. To alleviate the frustrations of jobsearchng for full-time work she will amuse herself by documenting certain special moments taken from the daily rituals of life in Canberra.

Junkies Magic Roundabout

Stan the Man”s girlfriend dropped dead a few weeks back. She”d had a weak brain and liver – in which order I”m not sure but whatever it was he now looks lonelyish (but not lost) without her. Civic is boring today apparently, according to some chick. Anyway Stan”s girlfriend Junkie Chick was always around – even down the Gypsy bar or falling out of a public toilet. Centrelink and the cops are after Stan with a warrant over $10. He”s thinking of doing time to pay it off.. Done it before.

Nicking the vital pieces when the old codgers are playing in the chess pit used to be fun apparently – not that EA ever tried it. Now it”s an inverse speed launching pad for coppers. Detergent in the fountain”s a fave – well it does need cleaning doesn”t it? Cardboard Help Signs – Yeah right you need what? Accommodation and shelter the usual crap. Did your mates chuck
you out for nicking their green grass stuff? Who else has been on the Petrie Plaza Magic Roundabout?

Street Urchin his Mates and Coffee
wine hag
painter man
polite Chinese restaurant owners
Italian nomad
intrepid traveller
gun shy paraplegic
Constable Plod
Noddy”s Special Troupe
Vietnam Vet
and his imaginary friends
paranoid victims of their own woes
storage facilities
…..and coffee

You”re allowed to drink coffee on the piazza these days – it”s legal. Longitude/latitude or is it the altitude of Gus? around 35.1666 actually (another 6 maybe) which works out the middle seat nearest the road. The wormhole is directed from the alleyway behind the old Gypsybar directly to Gus”. I”m sure that”s where that try-hard Wicca witch from DEWR (old
workplace) was getting through – the bitch caused havoc. As for Section 84 well that”s just riddled with them – wormholes that is. I”m sure the project is going backwards not forwards…. are those construction workers real?

Magpies Drink Blood

Paparazzi magpies were first on the scene. Cops second and ambos last. Well he was dead and what”s the rush.. The only piss off was that it attracted the attention of a parking inspector – I got booked. My car was near the scene of the howling crime. Well that”s the noise that was coming out of “his” friends who were “mortified” excuse the puns… Got stabbed he did. Drugs we supposed and anyway it caused a stir and a chase in the car park and outside the club. Some guys from Sydney Vietnamatta probably but who”s asking and who cares. I do I got booked.

Fire? What fire…. Elvis dropped water from overhead at our barbie. Friends stopped by for a break in between hosing the roof and staying out of the way. The heat couldn”t be felt from where we were but the radio kept us informed of the black hole engulfing half of Canberra. From the heights of Belco”s Totterdell Street it looked like a night scene complete with street lights but we were under blue sky in the sun. Who knows what the light dots were – probably the alien space ships who started the whole thing. Scrumpy couldn”t resist sightseeing. I think Dali might have been able to use the subsequent warped garage doors within a sculpture. The Mosh Pit for sure.

Orange Spaghetti Gun in the Club

Lenore the witch bitch pushed me off the stool and I landed backwards in front of Slinky Hippo – a Dark Angel thanks (always shaken). I got up again and pushed her back – bitch fight at the cocktail bar. That”s why the door was kicked in. Slinky wanted to report EA as a public liability but she told him to add it to the list and paid for the damage instead. Get over it

As for Porn King turning up at KOM and spilling my beer. The Cleo cigarettes he”d newly purchased from the banks of the Nile might have been a giveaway. Tried one – not bad. The inexperienced naive untrained bar idiot cleaned up by spraying detergent on the table and in my newly purchased drink. Abel as usual tried to remedy the situation but the whole event resulted in a fuss of grand proportions of course with EA and Abel being extracted as usual to “finish the drink outside”. Beware of
the Ankh.

Legless was outside in a wheelchair. Did your mum eat too many green potatoes? Abel might think it”s not true.. Who knows? Jabbed in the back once again by Bouncer Dick Brain “you”re not welcome here” and had to leave her outside – alone with her talking pad. Oh well she had half a glass to finish but did ask what was going on. EA told her she didn”t know and was forced to leave.

Lethal has been dry for a few days and it”s not looking good especially as he”s now a father apparently although he doesn”t know about the alleged Little Lethal as yet. Let”s DNA everyone shall we. I think everyone knows except him. Saw him today. False alarm and he knew all along.

Mosh Pit Phoenix

Who”s your father? And am I insulting him? Some dude resembling Egg Benedict”s drunk Alter Ego (some Aboriginal) was really annoying the other night at the Feno bar – kept jabbing me in the back. Wanted to smash a beer glass in his face but EA thought she might have caught something. He shouldn”t have kept hassling her in the back for reason. Lucky the Feno”s Grandad A was there to utilise the Orange Spaghetti Gun (OSG). Joint Enterprise Warfare (JEW) during a Blue Fetus Alert (BFA) is sometimes all too much for EA on a simple night out at the pub. Funny how Alter Ego wasn”t drunk when speaking to the other shady looking
characters he was with.

Truckloads of humans being “carted” through a town does not go well with pasta carbonara… I mean turn the TV off will you please. Chicken salt on my gourmet thanks. Bad service?. Sure EA hadn”t combed her hair but to be refused service because of it was just too much. That supposed Bitch Behind Counter should not have asked EA if she wanted “take-away”. Was she too scruffy to sit in the restaurant by herself? And as for shoving the money back at her. That restaurant was once okay but the staff are shit.

She had to escape into the Double Shaolin Dragon Room (within local club) only to be set upon by another Wicca witch who”d just happened to be floating past on her poker machine duster. Spoilt the evening and EA was barred once again. Where they are:

Lethal needs accommodation and a proper job.

Junkie Chick now hangs out with EA on occasion.

Porn King is still smoking.

Stan the Man has 2 Hands.

Scrumpy is cooking crocodile steak for dinner.

Bitch Behind Counter is ded.

Dick Brain Bouncer IS DED ALSO.

Legless still likes red wine.

Abel does too.

Grandad A is probably reading his bible.

Slinky Hippo is watering his lime tree.

Lenore Witch Bitch is forgiven.

Alter Ego is still praying


Dark Angel is sipping that drink.

Evil Alisandra

Copyright “2006 Evil Alisandra

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