Gertrude’s Diary #136 – Media Madness

Hello world. What a weird old place you are!

Reading last weekend’s paper I came across quite a long article about the rising popularity of labial surgery. All across the world, women are deciding that they need to cut off bits of themselves in order to maintain a pre-pubescent neatness in their private parts. One expert said that women are aiming to achieve a look not unlike that attained by women in sub-saharan Africa who are subject to genital mutilation. I guess everyone has to have a hobby.

Discussing this story with a colleague I was informed that a friend of her’s had the operation. Apparently it made her happy and confident. I can’t help thinking that this level of self-obsession should not be encouraged. That, unless you are planning a long and lucrative career in pornography, there is really little point in spending many thousands of dollars on surgery to a part of the body that in all likelihood will only ever be seen by a handful of people, many of whom will be health professionals who probably wouldn’t turn a hair even if you had labia the size of lounge cushions.

The article in question quoted one woman who had undergone the surgery. She said it was “a weight off her mind”. Not the phrase I would have chosen, unless they were very large labia indeed.

Still reeling from this unfortunate choice of words, I turned on the news to see a representative from Swim Australia facing up to the media scrum. They were asking about accusations made against a senior swim coach, and what steps the association was taking to investigate and possibly discipline the man. The representative said that the “situation was fluid”. I reckon they probably get a lot of fluid situations ’round there, what with all the swimming pools.

I think I should cease all contact with the mainstream media, before I become even more jaded and cynical than I already am. If that’s possible.

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