All I want for Christmas…

Being not a Christian (while being quite fond of Christ himself), Christmas isn’t particularly significant for me, aside from the fact that, at Christmas time, all the people I can normally safely avoid during the working week are suddenly around, all day long, and pestering me to do things with/for them.

I not-so-grudgingly attend, family is family after all, and I’m thankful that at least we’ve finally dispensed with the giving of presents. Shock! Horror! The retailers won’t like this development. It’s possible we would fail the dinkum Aussie test on that score alone.

It is un-Australian, I’ll admit, to not engage in a frenzy of credit card-fuelled spending at this time but, on the rational side of the debate, I actually think everyone in my family would do better spending their own money on their own stuff, rather than each of us trying to guess how the others would spend it.

Thus, some time after the main event, each of us will probably trundle off to the post-xmas sales and spend some of the money they saved on prezzies for others on something they really like for themselves. All except me of course, I not having any money to spend on presents full stop.

That’s because I’m a lean, hungry, hand-to-mouth sort of musician/artist/cultural provocateur type on a mission. And because I’m too lazy to work much. And I expect no-one to feel sorry for me about that. Please know, however, that, while I have ‘bludged’ in the past (much appreciated, thank you very much), I do not now receive any welfare payments from the government. These days I survive by my wits and am happy to live on a meagre income if it gives me the time to do what I enjoy.

How I derive that income is a mystery to some, I’m sure. I’m reluctant to go into too much detail about it here (you never know who’s reading), but one source of income I am ok to talk about is Google ad revenue.

Google ads have been on Loadedog since March 2005 and in the twenty-one months since then have earned me US$190. In the first six months, revenue averaged $0.16 a day. Over the entire period, revenue has averaged $0.30 per day. The average for the last six months is $0.56/day and for this month so far it is $0.76 per day, down a little from last month’s $0.97 a day.

Clearly, though the trend is up, my Google ad revenues are not and are unlikely to become ‘up, up and away’ any time soon, but I’m happy that they are at least covering hosting fees. However, it is Christmas time and I know that you, my dear readers, would dearly love to give me some sort of token of your appreciation for my efforts, so let me, without any further ado, introduce you to the Loadedog Christmas Fund for Cornering the World Market in Large Fluffy Toys.

You might not have noticed, but there is a world-wide glut of large fluffy toys (LFT’s) at present. Warehouses from Stuttgart to Wodonga are groaning under the mounting pressure of an over-supply of an estimated 3.5 billion toys. The Greenberg LFT index has been dropping steadily and there have been wide-spread reports of LFT dumping as prices fall beneath the cost of production.

Local samplings suggest bulk LFT’s can be had for as little as fifty cents in some centres (of depravity) and there are anecdotal reports emerging that even the antique LFT market has taken a pasting in recent months. There have also been reports of hordes of identical LFT’s running rampant through art galleries and the like.

Here at Loadedog, we have been following the ups and downs of the LFT market for some time, occasionally venturing into the bourse, particularly in LFT Futures, and if our projections are correct, if we can buy approximately 2 billion LFT’s and store them for not more than a year, we should be able to make a killing.

Not ones to miss an opportunity, we have already begun stockpiling teddies in our loungeroom while we wait for a 400, 000 square metre warehouse to become available.

Note: LFT’s make for great insulation

Still, we’re about 1, 999, 999, 982 LFT’s short of our goal and, at fifty cents a pop, around $999, 999, 900.00 short in funds too and that, dear reader, is where you come in. The average income from a google click has been around $0.20, so all we need is around 5 billion people to click on a Google ad in the next few months, well within the realms of possibility, don’t you think…

So, all I want for Christmas (besides that it be over quickly) is for you, and you, and you and you and you, to slide your mouse over to the Google ads on the right hand side of the page and click on a Google ad. It’s not much to ask. Donations of large fluffy toys also accepted.

Comments are closed.