Chiffon #124. Kewell Runnings

Oh Dear!

Do you wake up to hear the day fall apart? This happened to me the other morning, but I quickly got over it. The cause for my hopeless optimism is simple. That movie with the late John Candy. I wonder how many Aussies have seen this movie and what is their attraction to it ? Are they addicted to banging their heads against a brick wall? Apparently it was a true story and some clever entrepreneurial type made a movie about the Jamaican bobsled team competing in Calgary, Canada at the Winter Olympics.

Well I would like to run a script by you. I call it Kewell Running. It is about an island nation who, due to their location and isolation, loneliness and nationality, are insecure and have been excluded from the European Football League but, due to the mother country, England, having a large and energetic soccer league (or so it is reported in this colonial nation), the seed is planted and soon desire to participate  in the Wembley phenomenon reaches fever pitch. A campaign is launched, money is spent and now the taxpayer wants to know what they got for their time and money.

This story is packed with a comedy of errors as well as big egos and lots of cotton wool. This soccer action thriller will definitely have you going to bed early. The footy leagues have been rich in reflecting that which is fragile within their respective codes, namely their history of moronicness or blokeyness. I personally think that it is too late to keep pushing this pile of boyhood aspirations into the face of a society that has grown up and have kids of their own, as is the case involving Mister Johns who now resides full time in Whiteland, white out there, in the cold.

We talk in this day and age of correct role models and their importance to the generation of children who are negotiating their way through life. I suppose people are now going to see why Humphrey Bear  was not a good idea.

Back to the World Cup. We have all but fucked it up with all our prizziness, preparation, hotel rooms (not in Soweto) plane travel, injury worries… But hey, no worries, she will be right. I get images of the Black Knight in Monty Python’s Holy Grail (another cup) who despite being hacked up kept suggesting he was still good sport and competitive. But really has our eagerness to be a dancing bear in the circus  stopped us being intelligent enough to see this is someone else’s circus in someone else’s country?

What’s wrong with that? you say and I agree, there is nothing wrong with that, but what is wrong is for Australians with their own history of neglect for indigenous Australians to celebrate how great black self determination in another country is by pretending they have seen Harry Kewell play more than fifty eight minutes of Soccer or any of the minutes of the games of teams that contain the members of our national soccer team. I am not trying to be funny, but why are we still trying to be like the rest of the world in every regard except the ways that will set us apart from the rest of the world?

Luff Chiffon XXX

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