Chiffon #126. Give it Up

Grrrrrr!

I am a little bit of a lot of things in my head. I should explain. I was asked to express my thoughts and opinions and produce a booklet (or similar) for the purposes of sharing my technique for giving up dope, marijuana. Not that I am an expert or anything like this, however I suppose that my D.A. (drug and alcohol) counsellor, whom I have been seeing for a few years, considers me something of a standout as I have been abstinent from alcohol for a number of years. Not that you could tell if you had to edit my articles. Or listen to me sing or look at my art works of which I am the biggest and best as well as most consistent. Etcetera.etcetera. I digress .

Before I started writing about this I had bumped into my friend who told me he was giving it up as he maintained his thinking, his mind, and the way it worked was under examination. Now I don’t know whether his decision was one of those questionable ones, but he told me it was only an experiment and all power to him.

But back to me. As you could imagine I was beside myself with excitement at the prospect of producing such an earth shattering article, especially when I decided I would have to undertake the experience of abstaining myself. And that really cheesed me off as I don’t know any one else who deserves to do what they want as much as I do. It is not like I am a mass murderer. And I don’t see really why I should do what I am telling other people to do, after all the monarchies of Europe survived for ages that way and I am in line for something maniacal. But back to what I am talking about.

After I got over my initial resistance to the idea, I embraced it simply because I could not see any reason not to pursue abstinence. So I organized myself to be home for twenty four hours where I spent time looking around for a smoke and or a bumper. I did a bit of cleaning up, but the thing I found is that you can’t afford to be idle in your mind and the best way is to be mindful, not mindless, when you are feeling like smoking or getting angry because you can’t.

Mindlessness dictates you go with that feeling of anger, deprivation. Mindfulness on the other hand is about maintaining awareness, to recognize feelings and be able to defuse those feelings with logical and (hopefully ) positive conversation, which you should have, not with yourself but with someone else. I managed to get through the night, and now there is another day of the same approach as yesterday. I will let you know how I go with my little experience, which may just result in me giving up sugar, salt, coffee, tea, food additives, meat, sniffing petrol and other day to day activities involving products, which may kill me or else I will give up life because she is not worth living without some shit .

Luff Chiffon XXX

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