City Girl Diary Entry #1

Hi everyone. It’s very exciting to finally be here in Canberra. We had a great time at our first party here last Saturday. We were so happy to meet so many of you that night, and hopefully we’ll meet the rest of you later, as time allows.

It was great to be able to sit in with the boys (Slim Pickens and Round John Virgin – Ed). Even though I didn’t have any idea what I was doing, it all seemed to sound good and there was a smattering of applause for the occasional song, so it can’t have been too bad.

City Girl

The house that we’re living in is in Reid… rhymes with greed – lol. And creed and breed and seed and need. It seems like a really rich neighbourhood but somehow our house is a bit of a dump. We’re not complaining at all though because all the bills are paid and there’s a constant supply of avocados and fluffy towels.

Anyway Canberra seems like a really exciting place after Wodonga. I’ve never seen such big roundabouts. Actually someone told me Wodonga was designed by the same guy who designed Canberra. Don’t know if that’s true or not?

The job I’m doing here is like a dream come true. Imagine… no.. like really imagine, being plucked from obscurity in the back bar of the Terminus Hotel to come and be The Face of Loadedog. I mean, I know it’s not Big Brother or anything, but a girl’s gotta start somewhere.

I haven’t really been told what my duties are yet, but I expect it will involve the same round of appearances at parties, openings and launches that you all religiously attend, so expect to see me toot sweet. Before I do any duties but, I have to find myself someone who does good, and I mean really good:

Endermologie

Cosmequanique

Hair removal

Body Contouring

Manicuring

Hair styling (of course)

Any suggestions from you girls would be greatly appreciated. And can I say how beautifully presented everyone was at the party. The folks back in Wodonga might have found it a little dazzling, such was the splendour of the costumes. For me, only the Christmas party in the woolshed at the Murdoch’s property at Cavan matched it for elegance and decadence, though of course, if any of the Murdochs had come, there would have been no comparison.

I have unfortunately had one nasty experience since I came to Canberra. I was walking into Superbarn, through the carpark, and there was a dirty man sitting on the pavement, right where you pay for parking, and looking for all the world as if he was fast asleep.

After a moment’s hesitation, during which several people side-stepped the sleeper, I approached him and asked if he was alright. He gave a start and immediately began rolling the half finished cigarette in his hand, swearing that he wasn’t asleep. ‘Who are you anyway,’ he snarled. Any protestations that I was just trying to help fell on deaf ears as he proceeded to abuse me.

Later that evening my new flatmate told me that she found a very similar looking man, apparently dead, lying in the bushes just down the road from our house. He wasn’t dead. In fact he wasn’t even sleeping, he said, when they got him up.

He started getting abusive at this stage, so they attempted to leave, reminding him to pick up his thongs. As he stooped to pick them up, he overbalanced and, comically lurched forward, running then collapsing back into the position in which he was original found, not to stir again.

He was eventually revived by paramedics, but not before a passerby tripped over his legs, looking accusingly at my flat mate as if she were responsible.

But don’t worry. Don’t go thinking, just because I come from Wodonga, that I don’t know much. We have plenty of heroin addicts in Wodonga, and we have roundabouts (though not as big as yours admittedly), and while I’ll confess it is taking me a while to get used to ‘schooners’ and ‘middies’, I’m sure that before too long, I’ll be feeling like a home-grown Canberran, just like all of you.

Can’t think of much else to say, so ‘Cheers’ and I’ll be seeing you all real soon.

City Girl

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