City Girl’s Diary #2

Sorry for not writing for so long. Since my last entry I’ve been so busy. Loadedog have had me on a really punishing schedule. Even though it was them who chose me, they seem to think I need a lot of work to be up to their standard, you know, like grooming and deportment and stuff.

Last time I wrote, you will remember that I asked if anyone knew of a place in Canberra that did endermologie and cosmecanique (I love French sounding things, don’t you?), and someone kindly wrote back to tell me about La Bella Vita. I’ve been in there almost every day since, and the results have been amazing, as you will see in the photos below.

Despite being really busy, what with daily trips to the gym, La Bella Vita, singing and piano lessons, photo shoots, dancing classes etc etc I have discovered that I’m really lonely and homesick. This I never expected. I was so glad to get out of Wodonga and leave behind all those bastards who’d treated me so bad all those years.

But now I think of the old Terminus Hotel and get a little misty. Even if the guys were a little rough and tumble, at least they didn’t expect you to put on all these graces and try and be a lady and all. You know, like if you couldn’t remember a thing that’d happened the night before and you woke up naked in a stranger’s shed, you could walk back in the Termo the next night and everyone would treat you just the same.

I’ve even been thinking about Buggo a bit lately, the stinking lousy dog. I hate to admit it but I think I really did love him, which makes the way he treated me hurt even more.

Anyway, I made a promise that I’d stick it out up here for at least a year, so I decided that, since I wasn’t meeting many men (I’m not allowed out by myself) , I’d put an ad in the personal to find me a boy. They have this great thing in the Chronicle called Make a Date where you can put an ad for free.

I decided I’d fish for a different type of man than what I was used to…

I’ve only got one reply so far, from a lovely boy named Paul 24, blond, fit, slim and handsome, who likes snow boarding and adventurous stuff but is quite timid and shy. He tells me he thinks girls find shyness attractive. How right he is. I emailed him and we’ve been talking every day for a week now.

He seems really nice so I’ve accepted his invitation to go out on Saturday (I’m going to say I’m visiting my Auntie in Kambah). He wants me to meet him at some place called the Chizum Tavern. It sounds sort of exotic and romantic, doesn’t it? Strangely, when I mentioned it to the house maid, she said it wasn’t a place any sensible girl would go, but I think she’s just an old fuddy duddy (she’s nearly thirty the old hag). Anyway, I’ll let you know how it goes.

I read the Loadedog article on Prince Charles after his visit to the War Memorial and it really made me think. I hadn’t realised how much I loved Mary, Princess of Denmark till then. She is so gracious and calm and serene. I asked the Loadedog guys if she was the sort of lady they wanted me to model myself on, and they just laughed and said ‘No’ in a way that made me feel really stupid.

Then I heard that Mary would also visit the War Memorial so I begged and pleaded to be let off my table manners class so I could go, and they let me, so long as I took Bill the photographer and Sam the minder with me, which was fine because I get on OK with them when they’re sober.

Unfortunately they were both drunk when the time came, but it was still OK and I’m glad Bill came because some of the photos came out pretty well I think.

Here’s me with Sam. Mary had just gone inside.

It was really nice to see how much security they had. The last thing you would want would be some sort of international incident, some crazy idiot jumping the railings and doing something foolish. The police and the other security guys really made me feel safe. The line-up of motorcycles in the picture below had that Storm trooper look of infallibility about it.

Eventually I managed to get some of the cops’ attention..

…the plot thickened…

..then we had a discussion about the pros and cons of various methods of removing leg hair. I gave three or four of them my name and number. I can’t wait for them to call.

Then there was the usual round of media interviews…

…the signing of autographs for young fans…

…time for a little bit of Cher magic…

Before finally Mary and whatsisname emerged. Unfortunately I couldn’t get very close to her when she eventually got around to our side. It seemed like every time I tried to get closer to the barricade, one of the security guards would be standing in my way. As you can see from the photo below, I did manage to attract her attention, and if you look very closely, I think you can see her giving the special smile I think she reserves just for true fans like me.

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