Chiffon #138. Life and Death

Hullo,

Life,  she comes and goes all the time. Recently I have had friends and acquaintances pop off. My own mother passed away a few years ago. My condolences go out to all those who are dealing with that issue of death, and congrats to all those celebrating due to the birth of another mouth to feed.

I, like a whole lot of people, have difficulty when it comes to death. Death is an unknown, open to speculation. We want to intellectualise it and understand it but we can’t so most focus on burying the subject.

The thing I find and have found when it comes to the death of a loved one and or relative is that there often are a few alive people who, irrespective of the fact the deceased is dead (and not  interested  in contributing to the rituals of life), continue on as if the dead are living and present. The dead are not going to say anything and for this reason people often express things that they say the dead would want, such as possessions that they have done without but suddenly are of the opinion the dead person would want them to have, for instance the car, to remind them of the deceased. It is interesting it never seems to be debt (that would remind you of them). But people help themselves, telling all and sundry that so and so would have wanted things that way. Good luck to them!

My own mother’s funeral was a bit of an eye opener to me although I was not terribly surprised, as I kind of had an inkling mom had no faith in anyone giving her the send off she desired. Everything had been organized by my mother before she died. What I found difficult was being a spectator at her funeral.

The other thing that causes stress beyond belief is the will. I have seen families pulled apart as a result of dissatafaction at the interpretations that can be applied to someone’s intentions. My sister was made executor of my mother’s will. I was named as a beneficiary to her will which consisted of a share portfolio. I don’t know the specifics, I am excluded from that info. Many people have suggested that I am being shafted or ripped off because I am not being told.

It is and was necessary for me to stay focused on my role in my mother’s life and her death and what I was participating in was burying her according to her wishes. I wonder about death. I used to think that dying was painful. Now I don’t know that it would hurt as much as living. But I wonder what happens to us if we indeed are more than just a physical being. When I was at  Saint Brigids Primary School (a Roman Catholic affair), I was told by a nun that not everyone was going to heaven and then and there I suppose I had to make a decision about where I wanted to end up.

It seemed that not breaking the ten commandments was the key to getting into heaven, but to tell you the truth I was doing all the work for no obvious benefit. It was enough to convince me there was something dodgy going on. It was all designed to make me more compliant therefore predictable. I never thought that they did not know about heaven, hell, death, the afterlife, but how could they lie to me?

It really disgusts people as well as myself to see people make financial and or material gain from the dead, but people do what people do. Everyone wants to get ahead. I don’t think it should ever take priority over what is important about death and that is simply put, ‘bye bye’. I suppose in the event I did die there is only one thing I would worry about and that would be if I went to heaven or hell. If I was going to heaven there is nothing to worry about, but if I was going to hell there would be a few questions I would like to ask regarding accommodation and meals. All joking aside, death is one of those things that is exploited by the living.

It does not really matter what you think as death cant and should not be avoided. Living life and investing oneself in it is the only thing worth doing as anything else is all about being dead.

Luff Chiffon xxx

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