Well today is world no smoking day, and I wonder what you did about it, if anything. I woke up at around five this morning without my usual allocation of cigarettes, not because I intended for that scenario – it is merely a result of having an unmanageable life, and evidence of poverty. Notwithstanding that I decided TO GO WITHOUT, and proceeded to stay in bed asleep (something that is really hard when your not sleepy, and want a smoke).

I eventually crawled out of bed at about quarter to seven, after turning over more times than a croc at a banquet as well as enjoying the five minutes of” occupation that masturbation brings. Attempting to be positive I manufactured some breakfast and deposited myself in front of the telly and pondered my position, whilst watching the clock and telling my mind to forget how long it (not smoking) has been and how long it will last.

I was getting fidgety at around nine thirty when the phone rang. It was my best man friend (I was resisting ringing him as he smokes). You would not believe, he said to me have you got smokes, chiffon? I was shocked as my friend never runs out. Any resolve I had previously possessed went straight out the window and I went and sat with my friend who also seemed to be struggling with it (secretly I was hoping he would ask me to go and get him some to no avail, then it got worse for both of us. We had coffee. The ashtrays are all empty now.

I had an interesting conversation with him, as he, like me, has similar points to make, and we bantered about the events of late, one of the things mentioned was the greenhouse and pollution. It was mentioned that Kazakhstan was reluctant to sign the Kyoto agreement and this was used by Australia and America as a reason not to sign. I heard Mister Howard say in the house the other day, ‘why should we (Australia) do anything whilst some other countries do nothing?’ I love the way the government refuses to do anything until countries that can least afford to do anything (such as industry) have solved the problem, or so it seems. What is it with Kazakhstan?

Apart from watching parliament I have started to get the shits with the amount of insurance being offered on the tube. Why in god’s name would you insure against a funeral unless you were dead scared of not being buried? My mind is going berserk at the thought” of dead bodies who did not have insurance mounting up as they decomposed and becoming havens for fly maggots and virulent diseases which ultimately when contracted would infect and wipe out the human race, leaving no one to bury anyone!

I should also mention that I heard someone mention the death of a friend and they described it as ‘a rude interruption to their life that whole thing was’ and I wondered whether you could ever insure against that interruption.

Luff Chiffon xxx

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