Pity the Sports Fans

Unusually, I have the Aussie Rules on in the background and commentator and Collingwood nut, Eddie Maguire, is discussing a Magpie player who has ‘come off the rails’ and needs to ‘reassess his behaviour’ and not ruin his career by ‘bringing the game into disrepute’.

Aussie sportsmen run amuck about as often as a John Howard pre-election stunt these days. And the hypocrisy runs as strong in Australian sport as it does in federal politics.

How does a footy/cricket player steer clear of alcohol when it is practically obligatory to souse themselves in a (sponsor provided) beverage at the end of a game. Sport and alcohol are inextricably linked, both in our culture which vicariously enjoys champions getting (metaphorically) slaughtered after a win, and through business arrangements that turn sport into the lure to deliver an audience to an advertiser. In the case of Eddie Maguire’s beloved Collingwood, that’d be one of their major sponsors, Carlton United. Young sports fans must be getting pretty confused these days, what with all the mixed drinks messages.

Take racing fans (please Lord, take them). They watch guys career recklessly around a track and celebrate in the arms of a skinny model with a dousing of champagne, then they’re supposed to buy a car made by the winner’s manufacturer but drive it stone-cold sober at 50? Vroom vroom vroom!

It’s like buying a little girl a pony that she can’t pet, feed, groom or ride. It’s like agreeing to have sex with someone as long as they don’t touch you, talk to you or see you naked. It’s like promising security and sound economic management for the future while ignoring the single greatest threat to future sustainability and engaging in inflammatory foreign conquests. And, I tell you, it’s just not cricket.

Comments are closed.