Morning News: 080807

Updated in real time.

GMA. Top story: miners trapped in mine in Utah. As in Beaconsfield, risky mining procedures gone wrong. A couple of days digging to find out if six miners are still alive.

Headlines: Market Madness! Will the Fed react to concerns about sub-prime mortgages etc? Blood found in house, little girl Maddy may have been murdered. Islamic dudes caught with fireworks. Tenders open to rebuild collapsed bridge. Volcano erupting somewhere. Study finds stuff in McDonalds wrapper more appealing to pre-schoolers than plain packaging, even carrots. Weather – hot. Slow down, take it easy. Particularly in the afternoon which, we are told, is warmer than the morning.

Chinese toy recall. Toy Industry Association spokesperson advises that she hasn’t changed her shopping habits. Issues threat – if a toy company deliberately sells toys with lead paint, they will be out of business. Part of the blowback from globalisation?

Is Giuliani’s daughter an Obama fan club member? Can bad fathers make good presidents? Is this a worthy news story?

Mystery solved? Who is the kissing sailor? Some old bastard. Or some other old bastard? Charge him with sexual harassment?

Kissing Sailor

i-Caught! The stories behind viral videos. The DEA dude who shot himself in the foot. The lion/croc wrestling over the calf. Sammy the Singing Scrotum.

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Medical news: The contraceptive pill is good for you. So is coffee.

Dr Oz Keeps Us Heart Smart. Did you know a healthy heart requires a good diet AND exercise?

Mission to save mountain gorillas. Only 700 left in the world.

Selling Stephanie Myers, extended interview. The new Harry Potter?

Summer Concert Series. Selling Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. She’s cute.

Bugger, now they have Entertainment Tonight at 5.30.

Paris Hilton atones with some dirty dancing at the Playboy Mansion. Boxers or briefs? New underwear model sensation. Charlie Sheen’s child custody woes. Lohan in REHAB (Ridiculously Expensive Holiday Accommodation for Bimbos).

Quirky movie: Man has relationship with inanimate ‘real girl’.

Boring…

Sunrise or Today? Today.

Straight into flogging stuff. New Matt Damon movie. Rally driving.

Top news. Interest rates going up… probably. Not Johnny’s fault. It’s the States. Bill passed for Aboriginal reforms, with Labor’s support – Boo!. Dude found dead on P&O ship. Flu epidemic hits sixth kid. Contraceptive pill good for you (halves risk of ovarian cancer). Giuliani again. Parents still confident Maddy is alive, despite blood samples.

Sport. Boring footy stuff. Swans in pink for cancer awareness. Mundine has infected eye (incidentally, canceling Canberra visit this week). The eye got infected when Mundine cleaned his contact lens in his mouth. He’s a maverick that guy. Rally car drooling. Thanks big guy.

Viewer question: What will you cut back on if interest rates rise? Luxury item manufacturers watch with dread.

Markets: Gains, losses, ups, downs. Aussie dollar weaker against the greenback. Macquarie Bank reckons rate rise may wait. What does the weather man think?

Queenslanders to wear masks in the continuing epidemic of over-reactions to ‘epidemics’? NT woman wins Helpman Award.

More rally car drooling. A Toyota ad no less. And the Australian Rally Championship of course. Stupid sport. Should be banned. As should ads that are dressed up as television. Someone slap these guys. Say ‘amazing’ one more time, sport guy.

Viewer question: What would you give Megan Gale for her birthday: A good fisting?

‘Let the people speak’ says Howard, stuffing a bit more cash into marginals, this time in QLD. Viva democracy!

Skateboarder falls from fifty feet. Been on the internet for days, but we get to talk to him. Whee!

More Bishop Pell divisiveness. Catholic schools to reject non-Catholic students. Just one more reason to feel sorry for Catholics.

Entertainment: Beckham takes gay tv role. Well he could hardly play a straight. Van Halen to tour with special guest. Shaka Khan release album. Britney hires new manager. Spice girl Mel B fills minor role on reality tv show. Bridgestone Tyres viral ad – funny.

Unbelievable. They announce a new competition and the prize is… a cruise ship holiday! On the same day we learn a guy was found dead on a P&O ship (and the Diane Brimble affair reverberating still). hehe. Did I mention he won the cruise off the radio. Is this irony or self-satire?

A word on the scroll bar and logo bar that cover the bottom fifth of the screen. How often has a crucial part of the footage been obscured by them? Today it was a rugby league moron biting some dude. Or did he? I don’t know, because his head disappeared at the critical moment.

Howard on a winner with the QLD Council amalgamation intervention. According to some guy.

Over 50’s represent 40% of the electorate and have lobbied Howard and Rudd on health, aged care investment, economic issues and, interestingly, the environment.

I’m taking a nap. May not return.

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