Gertrude #43 – Patriot

Gertrude's Diary

To demonstrate your knowledge of our splendid history and culture, please answer the following multiple choice questions:

1.” Australia was settled by Britain as:
a)” a penal colony.
b)” a venal colony.
c)” a holiday destination for British backpackers.
d)” a joke.

2.” In the Australian vernacular, what is POETS day?
a)”A day to celebrate poets.
b)” A day for everyone to write poems.
c)” Friday.

3.” Cricket is:
a)” the Prime Minister’s favourite sport.
b)” a sport which attracts streakers.
c)” boring.
d)” all of the above.

4.” We celebrate Australia Day because:
a)” we’re proud nationalists.
b)” we like to take Public Holidays.
c)” we’re up ourselves.
d)” our”governments do not”acknowledge our Black history.

5.” The Melbourne Cup is:
a)” a wine goblet once used by the Queen.
b)” a horse race.
c)” an excuse to get pissed and gamble.
d)” both b and c.

6.” A great deal of Australia’s agriculture and other land use has been:
a)” extremely profitable.
b)” extremely damaging.
c)” extremely short-sighted.
d)” I think you see where I’m going with this.

Finally, for bonus points, please write a short (50-100 words) answer to the following question:

What do we have to be proud of, and how on Earth are we going to fix the mess we’ve made?

Please leave your answers below.

7 Responses to “Gertrude #43 – Patriot”

  1. 1 a
    2 c (guess)
    3 c
    4 none of the above
    5 b ( you need an excuse? )
    6 d

    I bet the mess I’m thinking about isn’t the same as yours.

  2. Which mess are you thinking about RG?

  3. Well, my personal bugbear is the rolling back of the freedom and equality in our culture, to be more befitting with debunked modes of certain foreign and Christian doctrines.

    As for ‘Australia????????s agriculture and other land use’, I’m uninformed in this area.

  4. oh oh, another pet hate is the term ‘Working Families’. It freaks me out to be classed as a first class citizen in what is supposed to be a free and equal society.

    That’s just a small part of the overall concern from my previous post, but one that gets pinged most often.

  5. Thanks for your comments, Random Git. You scored very highly on the quiz. The last question was intended to be open to interpretation.

    1. a Correct
    2. c Also correct. The acronym stands for Piss Off Early Tomorrow’s Saturday.
    3. c whatever
    4. na Feel free to suggest something.
    5. b Not really.
    6. d Ask around.
    7. Didn’t really address the question, but extra points for caring.

    Your total score is 83%,that’s a High Distinction. Well Done!

  6. OK, my suggestion for 4 is,

    4. e because you gotta celebrate on some patriotic level somehow. ‘Choose your own’ salient national features on a person by person basis. Or more simply, and more Australian, Near enough’s good enough.

    83 percent eh? So no indefinite holiday in Narue for me, yippee!

  7. For bonus points I will do anything!

    The pride thing is pretty hard. We didn’t invent the internet, the solar power industry has missed its chance, despite the obvious advantages we have. We have shown a remarkable ability to mine the shit out of anything that looks remotely profitable. We have some fine writers and musicians and our criminal birthright is still with us. Despite all of this and little johnny’s best efforts we still have a larrikin streak that might just save us. Sure as shit there is no-one else that will save us.