Gertrude #44 – Housefly

Gertrude's Diary

We all know that houseflies are filthy, dirty little creatures.” That’s why this post contains swearing and adult themes.

Day One
Phew!” Am I glad to be out of that pupa case.” It was really, really cramped in there!

These wings are great.” Wheeeee!” bzzzzzz.” I love them.” Zoom zoom zoom.

Hey!” Why are those guys sitting in mid air like that? Hey guysBANG.” Mmm.” Something stopped me.” I can see through it!” There must be a hole here somewhere…

Day Two
Still looking.

Day Three
Don’t go near the corners!” There’s sticky stuff there and I just saw a hairy eight-legged creature come out and eat one of the guys.” It’s a fucken freak show!

Day Four
I’ve got it.” I’m gunna”fly really hard at this thing and see if I can get through.” bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Day Five
Pretty tired.

Day Six
This place is so boring.” I fell like I’m gunna spend my whole life here!

Day Seven
Wait!” What’s that”? A breeze!” Guys!”Follow me!
Bzzzzz.” Mmm.” I can see the outside through this stuff, and there are lots of little holes in it.” It’s kind of flexible… I’m gonna get through this one for sure.

Day Eight
This is such a bummer.

Day Nine
You’re not going to believe this, but today some hideous, giant creature with only two eyes pushed the stuff with little holes in and it moved.” I’m free!

Saw some more of those giant freaks.” They have wet stuff oozing out of them; I drank some.” Salty.

Day Ten
Nectar tastes great!”

Day Eleven
I met this fly chick and we stuck our arses together for, like, a whole 15 minutes.” It was fantastic!

Day Twleve
Death.

4 Responses to “Gertrude #44 – Housefly”

  1. Are you referring to this story?

  2. Not especially, although I like to think of this little fella as ‘everyfly’, a pastiche of many fly experiences.

    I think everyone can identify with the fly in your story; I mean to say, who can honestly say they’ve never got their head stuck in something? I know I have.

  3. was it as good for the other fly i wonder?

  4. It was very rewarding experience for the other fly: she gave gave birth to a beautiful clutch of bouncing baby maggots.