Recorded on Tuesday 12th July, 2005, Insatiable Banalities, podcast #16’s special guest is Matty Ellis who has had the flu and struggles gamely with a failing (though still very appealing voice). The show is sponsored by Montezuma’s, Nobby’s Nuts, the Bintara Brewery, Citysearch Dating and Maton guitars.

Scroll below to see the track list and a summary of the insatiably banal topics of conversation.

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Track List:

Matty Ellis, Walls. 8:20

Nuclear Winter, Random Chromosome. 23:46

Matty Ellis, The Ballad of Three Times Lucky. 35.32

Matty Ellis, Means what it Means. 45:12

Matty Ellis, Lost Song. 57:00


After introducing the cast and Matty, and warmly welcoming Captain Pants back into the fold, we begin by confirming that none of the cast were bitch-slapped during the preceding fortnight. Jim Boots then announces his secret plan for a putsch at the South Pacific Club in an attempt to recreate the Gypsy Bar where Matty used to pull beers and occasionally play a few songs at Jim’s behest. Various suggestions are offered for Jim avoiding having his head beaten in in the process. Then we beautifully segue into an ad for Montezuma’s and their famous margaritas and a brief mention of our sponsors, Nobby’s Nuts, Matty having brought in a couple of packets of cashews for the cast.

Matty Ellis and Kandy A

Without much further ado we ask Matty to play us a song and he obliges with a fine version of his song, ‘Walls’. We throw to Kandy A’s technology review and when he clears his mouth of cashews he informs us about the crappy mp3 player and auxiliary FM transmitter he bought off eBay, both of which have no real brand, no proper instructions, very little functionality and are not recommended.


Then we have a vote to see if we should play a song by Nuclear Winter, an album by whom Matty kindly brought in. The song, ‘The Random Chromosome’, which wins the vote by a narrow margin, was recorded live at the Gypsy Bar at a gig with Prick Harness, one of Mikelangelo’s previous incarnations.

Gertrude and Johnboy

Despite Jim and Gertrude having fully revealed the strange goings on after the Mikelangelo gig recently in recent articles on Loadedog, Johnboy asks them to dredge through the details of the various tonsil probings and penis viewings and this they fairly willingly do. We then discuss younger men dating older women, Citysearch’s dating facility, the sort of girls you might meet at the South Pacific Club and the idiocy of wearing white on a night out on the booze. Recommended colours are black, brown, grey, beige and blue (if you’re Gertrude and want to look like the Queen).

Matty plays “The Ballad of Three Times Lucky’, a fairly recent composition. Johnboy does the news, announcing the terrible news that 400 hundred sheep committed suicide in Eastern Turkey recently by jumping off a cliff. The fact that the 400 sheep are supposed to have been worth US$74 000 lends the story a faint air of incredulity.

Matty plays ‘Means what it Means’. Time is running out so we very quickly churn through three topics; What is Emo (again?) with a made up homespun answer from Captain Pants and a definitive answer from Johnboy via the Wikipedia; Falling grannies; and retiring prostitute grannies. We say goodbye, ask Matty for one last song (‘Lost Song’) and that’s it for another week.

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