There was a Footballer…

I have no desire to pick on Ben Cousins or Joey or any other ‘disgraced’ footballers, what they do in their spare time being no business of mine, but when this little rhyme popped into my head, I couldn’t resist giving it a little twist, all in the cause, hopefully, of humour. I think you will recognise the original song. Feel free to sing along.

There was a footballer who snorted some coke
What a top bloke, he snorted some coke
Perhaps he’ll croak

There was a footballer who smoked a big jay
He didn’t go psycho so p’raps it’s ok?
He smoked a big jay to come down from the ice
He’d started confusing his freckles with lice
He took the ice to pick up from the smack
It’s cheaper right now that Afghanistan’s back
He shot up some smack to chill from the speed
He had it on intravenous feed
He mainlined the speed to pick up from the ether
Which goes very well with the afternoon reefer
The ether was chaser for four or five E’s
That somebody gave him, supposedly free
The E’s added pep to some LSD
It’s better than drinking disgusting VB
He took LSD to round out the coke
What a top bloke, he snorted some coke
And now he’s broke

4 Responses to “There was a Footballer…”

  1. Yeats eat yer heart out.

  2. on the bright side bogans now think that druggies can be top blokes too

  3. bogans. druggies. synonymous?

  4. Well bogans have always enjoyed having someone to look down on.