Viva la Revolution Sexuel

We’ve had a sexual revolution, and are now apparently in the early stages of an education revolution. Can you see where I’m going with this? Isn’t it time for a revolution in sex education?

I don’t really know what they’re teaching kids in sex-ed these days, but anecdotal evidence implies that Australian men are dud roots. Should we not be aspiring to be the best lovers in the OECD? Is not a satisfying sex life an indicator of happiness? What are the social and economic costs of failed relationships due to inadequate sexual relations? And think what it would do for the tourism industry once word got out. I can see the campaign now.

My own experience of sex-ed was all boredom and negativity. I already knew about condoms from my dad’s joke about the hundred nuns and the franger with a hole in it. I knew about STD’s from the Grim Reaper ads and from obscure references in 19th century English novels to thunder boxes.

It’s all well and good to be making doubly sure we receive important information about how not to have a baby before you’re ready, and to avoid nasty diseases, but where was/is the training about the joy of sex? If it was soccer we were learning, we’d be a nation of goalies who’d have to learn how to dribble, pass and shoot for goal in our own time, possibly from watching videos on the internet.

And with our revolutionary new government proposing to cut the kiddies off from internet porn (as if they could), where the hell are they going to learn this stuff? Rather than leaving our children’s sexual education to purveyors of soulless pornography, schoolyard myth and the occasional helpful older man/woman – Australia’s default position – should we not have a government institute of sexuality producing a comprehensive curriculum investigating sex from all angles (so to speak).

Let’s learn all we can from the masters and mistresses of Tantric sex, the Tao of love, Karma Sutra practitioners, geishas, high-class courtesans etc. Let’s study the female sexual anatomy thoroughly and unlock the mysteries of the g-spot, assorted other spots and female ejaculation. Let’s banish confusion and fear and replace it with confidence borne of mastery.

It is time for Australia to grow up as a nation and stop treating sexuality like the elephant in the room. It’s here, we’re doing it, and we could do it a lot better.

5 Responses to “Viva la Revolution Sexuel”

  1. Speak for yourself mate.

  2. I’m sure there are some notable exceptions…

  3. I’m far too discreet to start noting my exceptionals here.

  4. Ah, get off your soapbox and give me a wriggly cuddle. There’s an adage so old it’s an adage: If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.

    All the little darlings need to know is how not to get crabs/etc and stay baby free. After that, practice makes perfect, kids. Just make sure to have lots of sex. I reckon by the 3578th shag they’ll have figured out what works…

    There’s something to be said for the voyage of discovery.

  5. 3578? That’s practically a lifetime’s worth. What good a population of sexually adept septuagenarians?